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Texte les aborigenes
Message de arpagiont posté le 08-09-2007 à 17:40:14 (S | E | F | I)
childrenen
Bonjour.
J'ai fait un texte sur les Aborigènes .Si quelqu'un pouvait le corriger et me dire(nt) comment l'améliorer .
Aborigine's
When the British settlers arrived in America their wanted control their new territory and they maked a lot of laws for the Aborigines have no right .And they took the Aborigines for sub-human .Sometimes they goes even hunting the Aborigines .But in the 1880s they tried to bringing them up.And they built children’s homes of they putted the children’s in white familly .Somethimes the childrens had a good upbringing .With this new policy a lot of Aborigine children's left their families .Without qualms the settlers took away children's from their parents without have the permission in the aim of gave to them a good upbringing.
Merci
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Modifié par bridg le 08-09-2007 17:41
Message de arpagiont posté le 08-09-2007 à 17:40:14 (S | E | F | I)
Bonjour.
J'ai fait un texte sur les Aborigènes .Si quelqu'un pouvait le corriger et me dire(
Aborigine's
When the British settlers arrived in America their wanted control their new territory and they maked a lot of laws for the Aborigines have no right .And they took the Aborigines for sub-human .Sometimes they goes even hunting the Aborigines .But in the 1880s they tried to bringing them up.And they built children’s homes of they putted the children’s in white familly .Somethimes the childrens had a good upbringing .With this new policy a lot of Aborigine children's left their families .Without qualms the settlers took away children's from their parents without have the permission in the aim of gave to them a good upbringing.
Merci
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Modifié par bridg le 08-09-2007 17:41
Réponse: Texte les aborigenes de arpagiont, postée le 09-09-2007 à 09:42:40 (S | E)
up
Réponse: Texte les aborigenes de willy, postée le 09-09-2007 à 10:57:23 (S | E)
Hello !
Peux-tu relire ton texte ? Il y a pas mal de fautes, d'orthographe, par exemple, que tu dois être capable de trouver et corriger.
PS : tu es sûr qu'ils ont trouvé ces aborigènes en Amérique ?
Réponse: Texte les aborigenes de arpagiont, postée le 09-09-2007 à 12:50:29 (S | E)
J ai essayé de corriger mes fautes si quelqu'un pouvait trouver les autres .
When the British settlers arrived, they wanted to control their new territories and they maked a lot of laws in order that the Aborigines don’t have any civil rights .They considered Aborigines as sub-human .Sometimes they hunted Aborigines .But in the 1880s they changed their ideas and they tried to educate them .And they built children’s homes or they putted children in white famillies .Somethimes children had a good upbringing .With this new policy a lot of Aborigines’s children left their families .Without qualms the settlers kidnaped children to their parents without have the permission in the aim of gave to them a good upbringing.
Réponse: Texte les aborigenes de arpagiont, postée le 09-09-2007 à 17:30:44 (S | E)
up
Réponse: Texte les aborigenes de marlond, postée le 09-09-2007 à 19:06:00 (S | E)
Hi arpagiont,
There are still a few errors that you should be able to correct yourself, but the text doesn't read too badly. Just be aware that English often uses different constructions to French, and your text contains several examples of French translated directly into English when another construction would suit better. I've pointed a couple out and put other errors/infelicities in red.
When the British settlers arrived, they wanted to control their new territories and they maked a lot of laws in order that the Aborigines don’t have any civil rights .
* 'maked' <- basic verb mistake!
* 'a lot of' <- 'many' or 'lots of' is better - 'a lot of laws' sounds clumsy.
* 'in order that the As don't have any civil rights' - Sirstly, 'don't' would need to be in the past tense, as it happened in the past, regardless of the tense you would use in English. Secondly, 'in order that...' isn't really very common in English; we prefer to use another construction, e.g. 'many laws in order to reduce the civil rights of the A's.'
They considered Aborigines as sub-human. Sometimes they hunted Aborigines.
* Maybe use a pronoun in the second sentence to avoid repetition of 'Aborigines', or use a linking word to join the sentence?
And they built children’s homes or they putted children in white famillies.
*'putted' <- basic verb error.
*'in' <- 'into' is better in this case.
Somethimes children had a good upbringing.
*'Somethimes' <- typing error.
*'a good upbringing' <- Generally, in English you'd use a plural here instead of the singular (which you'd use in French) - so, 'Sometimes, children had good upbringings'. The logic is that there is more than one child, so more than one upbringing...
With this new policy a lot of Aborigines’s children left their families. Without qualms the settlers kidnaped children to their parents without have the permission in the aim of gave to them a good upbringing.
*'Aborigine's' <- Either: you need a definite article ('the') before this noun, and to move the apostrophe to after the 's' (as there is more than one Aborigine - see rules on apostrophes). Or: You replace the noun by an adjecive ('Aboriginal children') and the definite article is optional in that case.
*'Without qualms' <- this should be placed at the end of the clause.
*'kidnaped' <- spelling error
*'to' <- it's 'to kidnap someone FROM someone'
*'without have the permission in the aim of gave to them a good upbringing.' <- This doesn't make sense and I don't know what you're trying to say
S'il y a quelque chose que tu ne comprends pas ou quelque chose que tu veux que je traduise, n'hésite pas de me le demander.
marlond
Réponse: Texte les aborigenes de arpagiont, postée le 09-09-2007 à 20:04:27 (S | E)
Merci pour votre correction .Ce que je voulais dire dans cette phrase :without have the permission in the aim of gave to them a good upbringing est que les colons enlevaient les enfants à leurs parents dans le but de leurs donner une bonne éducation .
Réponse: Texte les aborigenes de marlond, postée le 09-09-2007 à 22:07:08 (S | E)
Je dirais:
Without a second thought to their parents' wishes, the settlers kidnapped Aboriginal children with the aim of giving them a better upbringing.
Mais je suis sûr qu'il y a une meilleure phrase pour exprimer cela.
marlond
INDISPENSABLES : 