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    traduction difficile (1)

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    traduction difficile
    Message de steph21 posté le 10-09-2007 à 17:07:44 (S | E | F | I)

    Bonjour, je dois rédiger la traduction d'un texte en français et je suis très nulle. Il s'agit d'une vente dans un magasin de vêtements pour enfants. Quelqu'un peut-il m'aider à corriger mes fautes, je ne suis pas sûre des expressions utilisées. D'avance, un grand merci.
    -Hello, Madam, Sir? I may help you ?
    -No, thank you, we only wish to look !
    -I would like just to explain you the arrangement of the store !
    -In this place, you will find clothes for girl, from 8 to 10 years then from 2 to 7 years ! Here, the corner of the babies, of 1 month at the age of 2, girl and boy. And finally, here, the boys from 2 to 7 years old and from 8 to 14 years ! I let at you look quietly.
    -I saw a garment in shop window, a dress with a vest, it is for my granddaughter who was not born yet !
    -Yes, naturally, follow me, I am going to present you the model. Here is. From 6 months. When does the mom have to deliver ?
    -In a one month. I think that 6 months will make the affair !
    -I have just sold the vest, I am going to look in the reserve if I have one. I return at once. It is good, I have it. I propose you tights as well as t-shirt wich goes under the dress.
    - It is very well, we take everything, as well as the scarf and the hat matched.
    -Do you wish a package present?
    -No, thank you, we travel.
    -I can leave the box present with flat, if you wish it !
    -Yes, thank you. How much I owe to you ?
    -75.50 euro, please.
    -In credit card !
    -I thank you and wish you a good stay in France.
    -Thank you Madam, goodbye.


    Réponse: traduction difficile de nick27, postée le 10-09-2007 à 20:03:23 (S | E)
    Hello !
    J'ai mis en rouge les éléments à revoir et quelques explications en bleu

    -Hello, Madam, Sir? I may help you ?
    => "Monsieur" et "Madame" sont souvent omis dans ces situations : on dit juste "good morning" (selon le moment de la journée)
    => Deuxième partie de la phrase : ordre des mots à revoir



    -No, thank you, we only wish to look !
    => Ce n'est pas la phrase que l'on répond habituellement

    -I would like just to explain you the arrangement of the store !

    -In this place, you will find clothes for girl, from 8 to 10 years then from 2 to 7 years ! Here, the corner of the babies, of 1 month at the age of 2, girl and boy. And finally, here, the boys from 2 to 7 years old and from 8 to 14 years ! I let at you look quietly.
    => Ici, c'est traduit beaucoup trop par rapport au français. Revois tes constructions et la façon d'exprimer l'âge dans ce cas-ci.


    -I saw a garment in XX shop window, a dress with a vest, it is for my granddaughter who was not born yet !
    => "garment" est d'un registre trop formel dans une telle situation.

    -Yes, naturally, follow me, I am going to present you the model. Here is. From 6 months. When does the mom have to deliver ?
    => Quelques erreurs de temps.
    => "When is the mommy supposed to deliver?"

    -In a one month. I think that 6 months will make the affair !
    => Traduction trop littérale !

    -I have just sold the vest, I am going to look in the reserve if I have one. I return at once. It is good, I have it. I propose you tights as well as t-shirt wich "goes" under the dress.

    - It is very well, we take everything, as well as the scarf and the hat matched.

    -Do you wish a package present?

    -No, thank you, we travel.

    -I can leave the box present with flat, if you wish it !
    => Que veux-tu dire?

    -Yes, thank you. How much I owe to you ?

    -75.50 euro, please.

    -In credit card !
    => Can I pay with my credit card?

    -I thank you and wish you a good stay in France.

    -Thank you Madam, goodbye.


    Comme tu l'auras compris, il y a beaucoup de points à revoir.
    Bonne chance



    Réponse: traduction difficile de steph21, postée le 10-09-2007 à 21:40:33 (S | E)
    Merci encore à nick27.
    J'ai apporté des modifs à ma discussion, est-ce que je m'approche du sans faute (expression, orthographe, ordre des mots)?

    -good morning, can I help you ?
    -no, thank you, we're just looking!
    -I just would like explain to you the arrangement of the store. In this place, you will find girl's clothes, from 8 to 14 years then from 2 to 7 years ! Here, the corner of the babies, from 1 month to 2 years, girl and boy. And finally the boy's department, with two age group like the girls.I let you see !
    -I saw some clothes in the window, a dress with a vest, it is for my granddaughter. She's not born yet !
    -Yes, of course, fallow me! I'll show you the model. It beginns at 6 months. When is the mommy supposed to deliver?
    -In one month! I think 6 months it's a good size!
    -I have just sold the vest. I have to look in the stock if I have one. I come back. It is good, I have it. I propose you tights and a t-shirt to wear with the dress !
    -It's very cut, we buy everything. Can I have the scarf and the hat to put with ?
    -Yes. Do you want a gift box ?
    -No, thank you. It's too big for our suitecases !
    -I let it flat, if you want !
    -Yes, thank you. How much is it?
    -75.50 euros, please
    -Can I pay with my credit card ?
    -Yes, you can
    -Thank you and I wish you a good stay in France
    -Thank you very much, goodbye


    Réponse: traduction difficile de nick27, postée le 10-09-2007 à 22:07:41 (S | E)
    C'est beaucoup mieux! Bravo
    Je te mets, maintenant, les phrases qui comportent encore des fautes en rouge.


    -good morning, can I help you ?

    -no, thank you, we're just looking!

    -I just would like explain to you the arrangement of the store. In this place, you will find girl's clothes, from 8 to 14 years then from 2 to 7 years ! Here, the corner of the babies, from 1 month to 2 years, girl and boy. And finally the boy's department, with two age group like the girls.I let you see !

    -I saw some clothes in the window, a dress with a vest, it is for my granddaughter. She's not born yet !

    -Yes, of course, fallow me! I'll show you the model. It beginns at 6 months. When is the mommy supposed to deliver?

    -In one month! I think 6 months it's a good size!

    -I have just sold the vest. I have to look in the stock if I have one. I come back. It is good (=OK), I have it. I propose you tights and a t-shirt to wear with the dress !

    -It's very cut, we buy everything. Can I have the scarf and the hat to put with ?

    -Yes. Do you want a gift box ?

    -No, thank you. It's too big for our suitecases !

    -I let it flat, if you want !
    => Utilise le verbe "unfold" (déplier)

    -Yes, thank you. How much is it?

    -75.50 euros, please

    -Can I pay with my credit card ?
    -Yes, you can
    -Thank you and I wish you a good stay in France-Thank you very much, goodbye


    Réponse: traduction difficile de steph21, postée le 10-09-2007 à 22:35:38 (S | E)
    re-moi, nick27, encore des erreurs ??

    girl's clothes, là je sèche !
    follow me !
    it startes at 6 month !
    I think 6 month is a good size !
    I'm going back !
    It's Ok, I have it !
    It's very cute !
    We'll buy everything
    I don't unfold it, if you want !


    Réponse: traduction difficile de steph21, postée le 10-09-2007 à 22:42:55 (S | E)
    it starts


    Réponse: traduction difficile de nick27, postée le 10-09-2007 à 22:45:19 (S | E)
    girl's clothes, là je sèche !=> "pour les filles" => for girls
    donc => vêtements pour filles => Girls' clothes


    follow me !

    it starts at 6 month !

    I think 6 month is a good size !

    I'm going back !
    => I'll be back

    It's Ok, I have it !

    It's very cute !
    We'll buy everything
    I don't unfold it, if you want !

    -------------------
    Modifié par nick27 le 11-09-2007 09:44


    Réponse: traduction difficile de steph21, postée le 10-09-2007 à 22:58:14 (S | E)
    it starts on 6 month
    I think 6 month is a good size, je ne vois pas!
    I don't unfold it, je ne vois pas non plus !
    désolée, mais je n'ai plus d'idée...


    Réponse: traduction difficile de nick27, postée le 10-09-2007 à 23:15:04 (S | E)
    it starts from 6 months
    I think 6 months is a good size
    I won't unfold it if you don't want me to.




    Réponse: traduction difficile de TravisKidd, postée le 10-09-2007 à 23:48:24 (S | E)
    Girls' clothes. (There should be an apostrophe, otherwise you could just say "girl clothes" with no S, but this is less common in a store.)

    No thank you, we're just browsing. (to browse = to peruse, to look around but not for anything in particular.)


    Réponse: traduction difficile de nick27, postée le 11-09-2007 à 09:44:20 (S | E)
    Merci TravisKidd, j'avais oublié l'apostrophe




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