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    Une correction, svp ;) (1)

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    Une correction, svp ;)
    Message de liliplume posté le 27-05-2008 à 19:06:27 (S | E | F)


    J'ai dû résumer un texte et répondre à quelques questions d'expressions.
    Pouvez-vous m'indiquer mes erreurs? SVP
    Je vous remercie de tout coeur

    This document entitled “Reach for your gum” is an article extracted from THE TIMES newspaper. It was published on july 10 2004 and wrote by Tom Gatti. It tells us how to chewing gum has become a cultural symbol. It’s that tells the scholar Michael Redclift (in his book entitled) « Chewing Gum: The Fortunates of Taste”. Chewing gum was born as a result of meeting between the former President of Mexico Santa Anna and the American inventor Thomas Adam. Santa Anna thought (that) they could make a fortune with the chicle of Mayan Indian by creating tyres. However, Adams had a better idea: he knew that the market of gum was promising. It can be wondered why, this product has so much had successes, in spite of its useless character and its unpleasant taste. Simply because the chewing gum is cheap and because it brings an immediate gratification by satisfying our simultaneous wishes of novelty and simplicity. It must be borne in mind that Chewing Gum had been having of big advertising campaigns. Wrigley pioneered the compaign of “something for nothing” by sending two sticks of free gum to more than 750,000 two-year-olds on their birthdays. It’s not to mention on cards to be collected provided in packets, national heroes, sportsmen and films that made the promotion of the chewing gum. During the Second World War, it’s obvious that Chewing Gum has become popular. Gum freshened mouths and calmed nerves of American soldiers’. 150 billion sticks of gum have been exported to the Forces between 1941 and 1945. In the late 19th century, American Companies such as Wrigley’s had financed the insurrection of the Mayans to face up to oppression of white Mexican. To some extent, Chewing Gum causes damage to pavements and buildings. British authorithies must spend more than £ 150 million every year. Singapour’ve been forbidding besides consumption of Chewing Gum during 12 years. From now on, the citizens can buy them in chemist’s shop.

    Expression écrite

    Le chewing gum est-il un comportement social ou anti-social ?

    To chew a Chewing gum is in a way a social behaviour. It was for a start a phenomenon of society in the forties. It’s indeed the American soldiers who exported the chewing gum worldwide. The American soldiers gave chewing gums to the population to be friendly. It was in a way a social relation, which allowed soldiers to communicate with the natives, without knowing their language. It follows then that Chewing Gum brought American culture.
    Nedless to say that the fact of to chew a chewing gum in front of people is disrespectful. In certain important circumstance and especially in public, it’s disrespectful in my view and it does not give a good picture of us.

    Que pensez-vous de l’action du gouvernement de singapour à lever l’interdiction ?

    To forbid the consumption of chewing gum was can be a bit extreme. The chewing gum remains first of all a means for calm nerves and fresh mouths. The basic problem, in my view, is that it needs to prevent the consumers of throw to the ground or to stick it on buildings. To lift ban is a gut thing, but it’s however needed, to see to this pollution. To punish polluters would be the best solution. In Ireland, a tax was create to finance the cleaning of streets spattered by his wastes. This action is’nt stupid. It will penalize however unfairly the not polluting consumers.






    Réponse: Une correction, svp ;) de violet91, postée le 27-05-2008 à 19:25:00 (S | E)
    gum” is an article extracted from THE TIMES newspaper. It was published on july 10 2004 and wrote by Tom Gatti. It tells us how to chewing gum has become a cultural symbol. It’s that tells the scholar Michael Redclift (in his book entitled) « Chewing Gum: The Fortunates of Taste”. Chewing gum was born as a result of meeting between the former President of Mexico Santa Anna and the American inventor Thomas Adam. Santa Anna thought (that) they could make a fortune with the chicle of Mayan Indian by creating tyres. However, Adams had a better idea: he knew that the market of gum was promising. It can be wondered why, this product has so much had successes, in spite of its useless character and its unpleasant taste. Simply because the chewing gum is cheap and because it brings an immediate gratification by satisfying our simultaneous wishes of novelty and simplicity. It must be borne in mind that Chewing Gum had been having of big advertising campaigns. Wrigley pioneered the compaign of “something for nothing” by sending two sticks of free gum to more than 750,000 two-year-olds on their birthdays. It’s not to mention on cards to be collected provided in packets, national heroes, sportsmen and films that made the promotion of the chewing gum. During the Second World War, it’s obvious that Chewing Gum has become popular. Gum freshened mouths and calmed nerves of American soldiers’. 150 billion sticks of gum have been exported to the Forces between 1941 and 1945. In the late 19th century, American Companies such as Wrigley’s had financed the insurrection of the Mayans to face up to oppression of white Mexican. To some extent, Chewing Gum causes damage to pavements and buildings. British authorithies must spend more than £ 150 million every year. Singapour’ve been forbidding besides consumption of Chewing Gum during 12 years. From now on, the citizens can buy them in chemist’s shop.

    Expression écrite

    Le chewing gum est-il un comportement social ou anti-social ?

    To chew a Chewing gum is in a way a social behaviour. It was for a start a phenomenon of society in the forties. It’s indeed the American soldiers who exported the chewing gum worldwide. The American soldiers gave chewing gums to the population to be friendly. It was in a way a social relation, which allowed soldiers to communicate with the natives, without knowing their language. It follows then that Chewing Gum brought American culture.
    Nedless to say that the fact of to chew a chewing gum in front of people is disrespectful. In certain important circumstance and especially in public, it’s disrespectful in my view and it does not give a good picture of us.

    Que pensez-vous de l’action du gouvernement de singapour à lever l’interdiction ?

    To forbid the consumption of chewing gum was can be a bit extreme. The chewing gum remains first of all a means for calm nerves and fresh mouths. The basic problem, in my view, is that it needs to prevent the consumers of throw to the ground or to stick it on buildings. To lift ban is a gut thing, but it’s however needed, to see to this pollution. To punish polluters would be the best solution. In Ireland, a tax was create to finance the cleaning of streets spattered by his wastes. This action is’nt stupid. It will penalize however unfairly the not polluting consumers.





    Réponse: Une correction, svp ;) de violet91, postée le 27-05-2008 à 19:35:32 (S | E)
    Bonjour lilliplume,

    Tu arrives sur ce site et tu fais bien! Il faut y rester,maintenant.

    Ton travail est fort intéressant et de très bon niveau (argumentation).
    Il y a bcp de "vert"de ma part : pas d'affolement!..: des mauvais positionnements de mots (in my view..les outils de liaison de manière plus générale) ,des conjugaisons à reprendre, enlever tous les" the "devant une généralité, ne pas contracter vu ton niveau de langue (et à l'écrit,c'est mieux),deux génitifs à déplacer...Varier les formules : firstly,secundly,..to me, to my opinion, ne pas être péremptoire :it should be..plutôt que "it is" trouver des synonymes pour éviter des répétitions. terminer par une question ouverte? (pouvoir enclencher la discussion)..[relever le double sens du titre "reach the gum" (gum est la gencive aussi)]

    Bravo, en tout cas. violet


    Réponse: Une correction, svp ;) de liliplume, postée le 27-05-2008 à 19:51:51 (S | E)
    Merci beaucoup d'avoir pris le temps de me corriger. Il est vrai que je fais beaucoup de fautes, mais j'aimerai vraiment progresser en anglais écrit, mais aussi en oral. J'utilise un cahier de vocabulaire, pour noter tous les mots incompréhensibles. J'essaye de les réviser souvent pour les enregistrer. Pour The, je savais qu'il ne se plaçait pas devant une généralité. Le probléme, c'est que je pensais que le mot chewing gum, ainsi que le mot american soldiers étaient des généralité. On parle de The Queen, parce que l'on parle de la reine: il n'y en a pas deux. Je prends note de vos conseils et je reviendrai aussi souvent que je le peux.


    Réponse: Une correction, svp ;) de violet91, postée le 27-05-2008 à 20:04:08 (S | E)
    Dear lilliplume,

    Ce ne sont que très rarement de VRAIES fautes. Affiner,plutôt. le problème de "the" est une grande question que l'on rencontre tout au long de ses études d'Anglais.

    The Queen...est "comme le soleil" un "ensemble à un élément.Tout change si tu la nommes : Queen Elizabeth II .pas d'article devt un nom propre(sg) ou titre.

    Les soldats américains couvrent tant de périodes.Tu as précisé : the second world war. Après..ils sont anonymes et généralité.

    A suivre....Ce forum a des ressources inépuisables : en tout et en entraînement oral.

    Bonne continuation. violet.




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