Pet writing (1)

Pet writing

Message de doggie posté le 21-09-2008 à 17:06:25 (S | E | F)
Bonjour, tout le monde
Je me prépare au PET. En ce moment, je suis en train de faire le Writing. Pouvez-vous m'indiquer les erreurs s'il vous plaît ? Voici le sujet :

"You have an English friend called Lee. You are both going to another friend's birthday party next week. Write an e-mail to Lee. In your e-mail, you should :
-say how you will get there
-suggest you go there
-ask him for advice about a present
Write 35-45 words."

Mon texte :

Hi Lee ! As we both know, we are going to Alice's birthday next week. I will go by car. Perhaps, we can go to it together. Is it a good idea ? I haven't got any idea for present. Help me! Please, answer me ! XXXX

Merci d'avance !!!!
Doggie

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Réponse: Pet writing de khalid1970, postée le 21-09-2008 à 17:16:24 (S | E)
Bonjour,
Hi Lee !
As we both know( que veux-tu dire ici?), we are going to Alice's birthday next week. I will go by car. Perhaps, we can go to (we can go there together serait mieux) it together. Is it a good idea ? I haven't got any idea for (The present) present. Help me! Please, answer me ! XXXX
Voila,c'est ce que je propose à moins que je n'aie pas oublié quelque chose.
Bonne continuation

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Réponse: Pet writing de khalid1970, postée le 21-09-2008 à 17:18:27 (S | E)
rebonjour,
Il vaudrait mieux enlever la virgule après perhaps.

Au revoir

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Réponse: Pet writing de lucile83, postée le 21-09-2008 à 17:21:34 (S | E)
Bonjour,
Hi Lee ! As we both know, we are going to Alice's birthday next week. I will go by car. Perhaps we can go to it together....to it ne va pas;il faut changer.
Is it a good idea ?..ce serait mieux à la forme interro-négative.
I haven't got any idea for present...il manque un article dans la dernière phrase + répétition de 'idea'.
Help me! Please, answer me ! XXXX

See you

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Réponse: Pet writing de doggie, postée le 21-09-2008 à 17:36:07 (S | E)
Merci beaucoup
CORRECTION

Hi Lee ! As we both know, we are going to Alice's birthday next week. I will go by car. Perhaps we can go there together. Isn't it a good idea ?
I haven't got any idea???(pas d'idée !) for a present Help me! Please, answer me ! XXXX

Ceci est-il correct ?
Merci encore !
Doggie

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Réponse: Pet writing de khalid1970, postée le 21-09-2008 à 17:55:41 (S | E)
Bonjour,
Il manque un point après present.
Normalement on doit séparer Hi Lee! du reste, mais comme c'est un e-mail entre ami, ça ne doit pas être grave.
Bonne continuation

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Réponse: Pet writing de lucile83, postée le 21-09-2008 à 18:44:42 (S | E)
Bonjour,
Hi Lee ! As we both know, we are going to Alice's birthday next week. I will go by car. Perhaps we can go there together.
Isn't it a good idea ?(= wouldn't it be nice?....ce qui évite la répétition de 'idea').
I haven't got any idea for a present. Help me! Please, answer me ! XXXX

Good work
See you.

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