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    Correction lettre Erasmus (1)

    << Forum anglais: Questions sur l'anglais || En bas

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    Correction lettre Erasmus
    Message de thiescale posté le 28-01-2009 à 08:43:34 (S | E | F)

    Bonjour, je postule actuellement pour Erasmus pour partir en norvège. J'ai ecrit une lettre de motivation en anglais et je recherche des personnes pouvant la critiquer, trouver des fautes...etc. Je vous en serai très reconnaissant de m'aider , juste une petite précision, c'est pour une école d'architecture donc n'hésitez pas, même si çà paraît insignifiant.

    Dear Sir, Dear Madam
    I am currently a third year student in architecture at the national shcool of bordeaux and I am very interested in spending my next year in the University of Trondheim.
    Actualy, I followed a workshop of architecture but also a workshop on has plan urbain. This two workshops open my mind has the importance of context and taking account of the existent. I pass a scientific diplom , option sciences of the engineer. The technology seem to me interested as means in the service of architectural plan.
    My actual project of accommodation in cycle licence is located at the edge of Garonne in a zone in restructuring. This area was a industrial zone who has been leave for a long time. The area is consequently pervaded by nature of the edge of the river.
    Today, I like to follow to an environmental master which approaches the techniques of built environments. Building wood interests me more particularly. The ecole of Bordeaux and the university of Trodheim have this course.
    Norway is a country which attracts me, due to this position of forerunner in this domain. It 's appears to me to be a very good experience to approach this master. The length of the agility of 10 months is an interesting period, to discover the university, to dive in the culture of the country and to meet the Norwegian . According to me the architect must move, notice, compare contexts, listen, exchange … Trip seems to me essential and allows to question its knowledges and its practice. It is primordial in comprehension and in study of architecture.
    Able of a good adaptation, I like to travel. I am an autonomous, serious, dynamic person. I past three months in a secondary school in Toronto in Canada, this stay gave me the taste of trip. Later, I had opportunity to work two months to draw breast of a hotel in Waterford in Ireland.
    The idea to be into a new environment to pursue my studies represents for me a real motivation.
    I am very much looking forward to hearing from you.
    Yours faithfully,

    -------------------
    Modifié par lucile83 le 28-01-2009 09:29
    titre en minuscules


    Réponse: Correction lettre Erasmus de kolimang, postée le 28-01-2009 à 16:23:43 (S | E)
    Bonjour,

    voilà déjà un certain nombre de points sur lesquels porter ton attention (ce n'est pas complet) :

    Dear Sir, Dear Madam
    I am currently a third year student in architecture at the national shcool of bordeaux and I am very interested in spending my next year in the University of Trondheim.
    Actualy, I followed a workshop of architecture but also a workshop on has plan urbain. This two workshops open (temps) my mind has the importance of context and taking account of the existent. I pass (verbe, temps) a scientific diplom (vocabulaire), option sciences of the engineer. The technology seem (accord) to me [interested as means in the service of architectural plan](Je ne comprends pas ce que tu veux dire).
    My actual project of accommodation in cycle licence is located at the edge of Garonne in a zone in restructuring. This area was a industrial zone who (l'antécédent n'est pas une personne) has been leave (revoir participe passé irrégulier) for a long time. The area is consequently pervaded by nature of the edge of the river.
    Today, I like to follow to (would like to + verbe "attend") an environmental master which approaches the techniques of built environments. Building wood (que veux tu dire par "building wood" ?) interests me more particularly. The ecole of Bordeaux and the university of Trodheim have this course.
    Norway is a country which attracts me, due to this position of forerunner in this domain. It 's appears to me to be a very good experience to approach this master. The length of the agility of 10 months is an interesting period, to discover the university, to dive in the culture of the country and to meet the Norwegian . According to me the architect must move, notice, compare contexts, listen, exchange … Trip (Travelling) seems to me essential and allows to question its knowledges and its practice. It is primordial in comprehension and in study of architecture.
    Able of a good adaptation, I like to travel. I am an autonomous, serious, dynamic person. I past three months in a secondary school in Toronto in Canada, this stay gave me the taste of trip. Later, I had the opportunity to work two months to draw breast of a hotel in Waterford in Ireland.
    The idea to be into a new environment to pursue my studies represents for me a real motivation.
    I am very much looking forward to hearing from you.
    Yours faithfully,

    Bon travail !

    Kolimang




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