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    Correction d'un texte (1)

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    Correction d'un texte
    Message de kris51 posté le 05-03-2009 à 19:32:47 (S | E | F)

    bonjour je viens d'écrire un petit texte mais j'ai niveau en anglais plutôt faible donc pouvez-vous regarder svp et m'aider pour le corriger merci .

    Today means of communication considerably developed notably Internet and allow returning meetings easier.
    Internet is a means as other one to make acquaintances with people or at least this allows to see itself and to make a slave. They can indeed create links of friendship to have a good time and to cross of good instants with person of Internet with good surprises as disappointment. Internet can help the timid persons who do not dare to go directly with people. Behind the computer, people are less timid and can speak in other one people more easily. Internet can gets closer persons who would not speak without computer and it can allow creating new couples. However to meet love on Internet and possible but it’s stupid to think that it is easier to meet one girl in real than on the net.
    The weakness of Internet is that he allows no contact with the person the webcam exists but it does not show the truth because it erases defects and be disappointed in truth
    On the contrary Internet can be dangerous because certain persons who speak to us can have ideas. They can meet mentally ills and notably pedophiles it is therefore necessary to protect child especially the youngest. Certain young persons go to dates after some debates with a person it is unthinking because the interlocutor can be mad. It is necessary to wait to know person before meet her and go to the first date accompanied.
    For me Internet serves for speaking with friends to play or to do researches but for meetings loving I do not believe it. It is possible but there is no charm of one truth meets where to go to see a girl who please us they have the heart which beats very extremely and we don’t know that said.



    Réponse: Correction d'un texte de laure95, postée le 07-03-2009 à 11:59:32 (S | E)
    Bonjour, voici les erreurs à corriger:
    Today means of communication considerably developed (today, donc pas le prétérit) notably Internet and allow returning ? meetings easier.
    Internet is a means as other one to make acquaintances with people or at least this allows to see itself and to make a slave ?. They (qui est THEY) can indeed create links of friendship to have a good time and to cross of good instants with a person of Internet with as good surprises as disappointment. Internet can help the timid persons (people) who do not dare to go directly with people. Behind the computer, people are less timid and can speak in other one people more easily. Internet can gets closer persons who would not speak without a computer and it can allow creating new couples. However to meet love on Internet and possible but it’s stupid to think that it is easier to meet one girl in real than on the net.
    The weakness of Internet is that he allows no contact with the person the webcam exists ? but it does not show the truth because it erases defects and be (à conjuguer) disappointed in truth
    On the contrary Internet can be dangerous because certain persons who speak to us can have ideas. They can meet mentally ills and notably pedophiles it is therefore necessary to protect child especially the youngest. Certain young persons go to dates after some debates with a person it is unthinking because the interlocutor can be mad. It is necessary to wait to know the person before meet her and go to the first date accompanied.
    For me Internet serves for speaking with friends to play or to do researches but for meetings loving I do not believe it. It is possible but there is no charm of one truth meets where to go to see a girl who please (3è personne du singulier) us they have the heart which beats very extremely and we don’t know that said.

    Attention! Fais des phrases plus courtes, mets des virgules, des points virgules pour que tes phrases soient plus compréhensibles. Certains mots de vocabulaire que tu emploies ne sont pas adaptés.



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