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    Éducation /Correction (1)

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    Éducation /Correction
    Message de lilipomme04 posté le 15-03-2009 à 11:58:21 (S | E | F)

    Hello,

    I would like to know if my text is correct...

    One century ago, children didn't have the same education as today. Generally, they didn't speak when they were at the table and they helped a lot their parents. At school, boys and girls were separated. They often went to school on foot or by bike because it was just the beginning of cars and only rich people had them. Over there, they had to wear an uniform : trousers and shirts for boys and dresses for girls. When they didn't listen the teacher or when they were late, they could have a corporal punishment : for example, the teacher hit their fingers with a stick. In the factories, they weren't moder machines and, more often than not, the work was handmade. Life was really harder than today.

    Thank you very much for your help.

    -------------------
    Modifié par bridg le 15-03-2009 11:59
    titre


    Réponse: Éducation /Correction de brettdallen, postée le 15-03-2009 à 16:14:44 (S | E)
    Bonjour,
    Je vous suggère quelques corrections à apporter. L'ensemble est néanmoins correct.


    One century ago, children didn't have the same education as today. Generally, they didn't speak when they were at the table(d'accord, ou "having a meal") and they helped a lot(à placer ailleurs...) their parents. At school, boys and girls were separated(d'accord, ou pensez au verbe "mix", dans ce cas en négatif). They often went to school on foot or by bike because it was just the beginning of cars and only rich people had them(un peu maladroit. Essayez de traduire "à l'époque, posséder/avoir une voiture n'était pas courant et seul les riches pouvaient se permettre d'en acheter"). Over there(je ne comprends pas! où ça?), they had to wear an (je sais que "uniform" commence par une lettre voyelle, mais ne se prononce pas comme tel! donc?)uniform : trousers and shirts for boys and dresses("dresses"? je pensais à des jupes...) for girls. When they didn't listen(suivi d'une préposition: laquelle? vérifiez!) the teacher or when they were late, they could have a corporal punishment : for example, the teacher hit their fingers with a stick. In the factories, they weren't(traduisez d'abord "il y a", vérifiez la structure, adaptez la au passé, en négatif) moder(il manque une lettre) machines and, more often than not, the work was handmade. Life was really harder than today.

    Faites déjà ces corrections et votre présentation sera meilleure. Bon courage!


    Réponse: Éducation /Correction de lilipomme04, postée le 15-03-2009 à 17:12:44 (S | E)
    pour cette aide. J'ai corrigé et reformulé en suivant vos suggestions.

    One century ago, children didn't have the same education as today. Generally, they didn't speak when they were having a meal and they helped their parents a lot. At school, boys and girls weren't mixed. They often went to school on foot or by bike because it was just the beginning of cars. At that time, having a car was not common and only rich people could buy it. They also had to wear a uniform : trousers and shirts for boys and dresses or skirts for girls. When they didn't listen to the teacher or when they were late, they could have a corporal punishment : for example, the teacher hit their fingers with a stick. In the factories, there weren't modern machines and, more often than not, the work was handmade. Life was really harder than today.





    Réponse: Éducation /Correction de brettdallen, postée le 15-03-2009 à 17:24:28 (S | E)
    Bonjour,
    Je reprends quelques points.


    One century ago, children didn't have the same education as today. Generally, they didn't speak when they were having a meal and they helped their parents a lot. At school, boys and girls weren't mixed. They often went to school on foot or by bike because it was just the beginning of cars.(à effacer) At(donc en minuscule) that time, having a car was not common and only rich people could buy(d'accord, ou "afford") it. They also had to wear a uniform : trousers and shirts for boys and dresses(je pose de nouveau la question: portaient-elles des robes? si ce n'est pas le cas, à effacer) or skirts for girls. When they didn't listen to the(d'accord, ou "their") teacher(met-on au pluriel?) or when they were late, they could have a corporal punishment : for example, the teacher hit their fingers with a stick. In the factories, there weren't modern machines and, more often than not, the work was handmade. Life was really harder than today.

    Pour le reste, ça ira.
    Cordialement.


    Réponse: Éducation /Correction de alina_elena, postée le 15-03-2009 à 18:58:48 (S | E)
    Bonjour,
    One century ago, children didn't have the same education as today.Generally, they didn't speak during their meal and they were helping their parents a lot. There were separated schools, for boys and for girls. Children often went to school on foot or by bike since you could rarely see a car in that period of time when only rich people could afford it. Also, they had to wear a uniform:with trousers and shirts for boys and skirts for girls.For bad behaviour, not paying attention during the class or for being late, they were suffering corporal punishment,for example: their teacher hit their fingers with a stick. In the factories, there weren't modern machines, the work was handmade.Life was really harder then today.


    I thought to make some changes here and there, well i didn't changed it a lot but you might give a thought.
    Regards.




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