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    Correction /Cherokee (1)

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    Correction /Cherokee
    Message de californie67 posté le 18-03-2009 à 21:07:05 (S | E | F)

    bonsoir, voilà j'aurais besoin svp que vous me dite si j'ai fait des fautes(j'en est certainement fait) afin de pouvoir apporter des correction à ce devoir je vous en remercie par avance merci
    ps chine est un personnage de l'histoire:


    >« What have I done wrong? I’m just intent you to come with me, to go with me in Europe and as you get it over: you wanderlust to go there. So, why do you want absolutely to know where those tickets came from? You don’t trust me? Stop! Now I’m not a child, I’m 30 years hold. Instead of being glad for the present that I gave you, you impeach me that I’m a delinquent…”answered hungrily Cherokee to his sister who is astounded by the reaction of him, she put on the table the knife and look up: “well …Cherokee I wanted to know with what money you had paid those tickets… you conceal something for me…” replied his sister and added “stop keeping one's cards close to one's chest!”
    Cherokee retorted “Well, those tickets aren’t illegal, so don’t be afraid … I’m going to tell you where those tickets came from… you hang on to have the last word” said Cherokee smiling and claimed: “yesterday you listened in the radio and you learnt that a professor of history was liquidated in his home and that the murderer had devastated the house checking something…”chine chocked and interrupted his brother” can you tell me what the murder are connected with the story?”
    Cherokee set down and said “wait…I ‘m getting down to brass tacks, it was my professor of history and three day ago he proposed to me to keep an object that I have to give to Mr. mark smith a Londoner and he said that he will paid me gratefully, I had already received a part of the money. And my one professor said that the rest I would get after and he gave to me a ticket. And when I listened that he was slaughter, I didn’t know whether one is coming or going. If my professor was killed it means that I’m in danger so I must find MR Mark smith to give to him this object. And I was afraid that I would be only so with the payment I hurried me to buy a, other tickets for you.”
    Chine listened along occupied by this tall story and “Cherokee why you and not an other? Why did you accept? Why” chine lowered his eyes she was distraught at the news.
    “Neither here nor there, this is a matter of life or death…” said Cherokee and heading toward his sister who added: “all that for a boat… for a little boat …”
    Cherokee looked his sister bleakly and chine ask to him” what we will say to mum? When we have to go?”
    The boy answered to his sister “you will come with me? We will go in three days” chine replied “I have to go with you half witted”
    Those two daring don’t know what they will have to over come but they have made up their minded to overcome all there obstacles together because now they are in the same boat.



    -------------------
    Modifié par lucile83 le 18-03-2009 21:38


    Réponse: Correction /Cherokee de laure95, postée le 19-03-2009 à 11:19:19 (S | E)
    Bonjour, voici ce que tu dois corriger:
    >« What have I done wrong? I’m just intent you ? to come with me, to go with me in Europe and as you get it over: you wanderlust to go there. So, why do you want absolutely to know where those tickets came from? You don’t trust me? Stop! Now I’m not a child, I’m 30 years hold. Instead of being glad for the present that I gave you, you impeach me that I’m a delinquent…”answered hungrily Cherokee (pas dans le bon ordre) to his sister who is (pas le bon temps) astounded by the reaction of him (cas possessif), she put on the table (pas à la bonne place) the knife and look (temps du récit: prétérit) up: “well …Cherokee I wanted to know with what money (mal dit) you had paid those tickets… you conceal something for me…” replied his sister and added “stop keeping one's cards close to one's chest!”
    Cherokee retorted “Well, those tickets aren’t illegal, so don’t be afraid … I’m going to tell you where those tickets came from… you hang on to have the last word” said Cherokee smiling and claimed: “yesterday you listened in (pas la bonne préposition) the radio and you learnt that a professor of history was liquidated in his home and that the murderer had devastated the house checking something…”chine chocked and interrupted his brother” can you tell me what the murder are connected with the story?”
    Cherokee set down and said “wait…I ‘m getting down to brass tacks, it was my professor of history and three day (pluriel) ago he proposed to me to keep an object that I have (temps) to give to Mr. mark smith a Londoner and he said that he will (would) paid (would + infinitif) me gratefully, I had already received a part of the money. And my one ? professor said that the rest I would get after (mal dit) and he gave to me a ticket. And when I listened (heard) that he was a slaughter, I didn’t know whether one ? is (temps)coming or going. If my professor was killed it means that I’m (temps: if + prétérit, would dans l'autre partie de la phrase))in danger so I must find MR Mark smith to give to him this object. And I was afraid that I would be only so ? with the payment I hurried me to buy a, (an) other tickets for you.”



    Réponse: Correction /Cherokee de laure95, postée le 19-03-2009 à 11:26:58 (S | E)
    (suite correction)
    Chine listened along occupied by this tall story and “Cherokee why you and not an other? Why did you accept? Why” chine lowered his eyes she was distraught at the news.
    “Neither here nor there, this is a matter of life or death…” said Cherokee and heading toward his sister who added: “all that for a boat… for a little boat …”
    Cherokee looked at his sister bleakly and chine ask (temps)to him” what we will say to mum (revois structure question avec will)? When we have to go?” (question mal construite)The boy answered to his sister “you will come with me (même remarque)? We will go in three days” chine replied “I have to go with you half witted”
    Those two daring (pluriel)don’t know what they will have to over come (en 1 seul mot)but they have made up their minded to overcome all there obstacles together because now they are in the same boat.





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