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    Writing time- Policeman report (1)

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    Writing time- Policeman report
    Message de giovaninho972 posté le 29-03-2009 à 03:18:51 (S | E | F)

    Voila Bonjour.
    j'ai fait une rédaction pour lundi 30 avril qui se rapporte sur le rapport d'un policier et j'aimerais savoir si quelqu'un pouvait m'aider à corriger svp s'il vous plaît. merci!
    Voici le texte ci dessous:
    It was July 5th, 1964, in South Carolina. I arrested a black race’s woman as a safety precaution given the number of complaints carried against them. She was accompanied with a girl of 14 years that named Lily, a girl whom she watched because her profession was the one of nanny. Then, arrived at the post of police, one hour pleased late, I made him cross an interrogation by saying to him: «Then, you spat and offended people on the way public ".
    She answered me yes, without call up. I continued the interrogation: you committed one steal in a public place, do you accept it? «She answered me no, because she hadn’t stolen but rather to find the object in question. Then I stipulated: «you are only a poor black who don’t have to make anything of her life, because you realized of numerous practical joke also you report you it? »
    She answered me yes because I found that three men were racists to my race. I retorted him: «it’s me equal because you have no right to assault people in the street. Soon shall be presented to you for racial hatred on the public highway. Recognize the facts.” "Yes" she answered, of a sight brings down. «Consequently I began you to sign here.”
    -------------------
    Modifié par bridg le 29-03-2009 09:51


    Réponse: Writing time- Policeman report de laure95, postée le 30-03-2009 à 13:54:36 (S | E)
    Bonjour, voici ce qu'il faut corriger:
    It was (prendre 1 verbe + précis: se passer, avoir lieu) on July 5th, 1964, in South Carolina. I arrested a black race’s woman as a safety precaution given the number of complaints carried against them. She was accompanied with a girl of 14 years (a 14-year-old girl) that named Lily, a girl whom she watched (pas le bon verbe) because her profession was the one of nanny (mal dit). Then, I arrived at the post of police, one hour pleased late, I made him (à qui se réfère HIM?)cross an interrogation by saying to him: «Then, you spat and offended people on the way public ".
    She answered me yes, without call up. I continued the interrogation: you committed one steal in a public place, do you accept it? (où sont les guillemets?)«She answered me no, because she hadn’t stolen but rather to find the object in question. Then I stipulated: «you are only a poor black (il manque 1 nom)who don’t (3è personne du singulier!) have to make anything of her life, because you realized of numerous practical joke(pluriel) also you report you it? »
    She answered me yes because I found that three men were racists to my race. I retorted him: «it’s me equal because you have no right to assault people in the street. Soon sujet? shall be presented to you for racial hatred on the public highway. Recognize the facts.” "Yes" she answered, of a sight brings down. «Consequently I began (pourquoi le prétérit?) you to sign here.”




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