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Message de jasmin34 posté le 19-05-2009 à 16:53:59 (S | E | F)
bonjour a tous,
on m'a demandé de rédiger une demande de stage pour quelqu'un qui suit une formation alternée. voici mon essai, pourriez vous m'aider en correction.
may I respectfully request for a training in your firm.
I am following courses at aim to obtain the diplomat of xxxxxxx actually the courses are scheduled by phases for which the periode between 02 successive phases is somehow long therefore I would like to take advatage in order to enhance my theoric acquisition.
Réponse: Demande de training de jasmin34, postée le 20-05-2009 à 09:49:22 (S | E)
pourquoi personne ne m'a répondez?
Réponse: Demande de training de doctor, postée le 20-05-2009 à 19:43:27 (S | E)
Voici ma proposition :
I am a student in X university. I am looking for a training period in X area.
I am required to gain hands-on experience as an integral part of my final assessment. I am therefore writing to enquire if you would consider me for a two-month training period in your firm.
I hear about your compagny. It is the most biggest and famous campagny in X area. It would be an chance for me to learn 'best practices'in X area.
As you can see from enclosed curriculum vitae, I have worked in X firm where I was concerned to XXX. This experience taught me how to be flexible and gave me sense of teamwork, qualities that I feel sure could be put to good use in your company .
I am available to meet you at your convenience.
I am looking for you to hearing from you as soon as possible.
Enc : CV
Hope this help you
Réponse: Demande de training de john123, postée le 20-05-2009 à 23:46:53 (S | E)
Vous ferriez mieux d'écrire "I heard that your company is well respected in X area and it would be an excellent opportunity for me to learn about this field" au lieu du deuxième paragraphe.
Réponse: Demande de training de intrepid34, postée le 21-05-2009 à 08:25:02 (S | E)
First and foremost - one should never sign a letter with with "Yours sincerely" if you address the letter "Dear Sir". Replace "Yours sincerely" with "Yours faithfully".
First paragraph good.
Second paragraph - take John's advice!!
"As you can see from my enclosed Curriculum Vitae" I have worked for X where my duties included (ici le travail effectué, tâches etc.) This valuable experience taught me flexibility and a sense of teamwork, qualities ....
I am available etc.
I look forward to your favourable reply.
To the "doctor" - good letter.
Have a great day