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    Correction globalisation

    << Forum anglais: Questions sur l'anglais || En bas

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    Correction globalisation
    Message de pop65 posté le 21-11-2009 à 20:15:30 (S | E | F)

    Bonjour à tous ! Voilà j'ai écrit un texte en anglais mais je suis sûr qu'il y a des fautes. Pouvez-vous m'aider à me corriger s'il vous plaît?
    Mon texte étant assez long, je vous envoie pour le moment la première partie.
    Je voue remercie et bonne journée

    With globalisation and the technological progress, communication between people by Internet is easier and more quickly than in the past. We have from now on the possibility to chat with someone who lives in the other side of the world. It’s a great and a huge progress that we are benefitting so that it’s not surprising to notice a real increased use of online personal ads for dating.
    Indeed, this way of communication which is very rapid and simple of using, is a big success in the entire world; nowadays everybody has a computer with the Internet. Not only thanks to it, we can find what we want in record time but we can even find the kind of person we would like to meet! Nowadays, we’re not obliged to wait for a real date with the person we have met to know if he/she corresponds to our expectations. Besides to meet someone by chance is too unfashionable. (it’s ironical…) It’s more advantageous to be able to select according to a description and a photo, people who may be fine. For example, if you like particularly blond and attractive men, you can directly research one among all people who are registered on website in order to find a person who corresponds to you and has the same interests. Therefore, you would have not to go to a date with a person who is the totally opposite of you and you would not be obliged to spend a boring time. Moreover, as all persons who are registered on the website want to date online, there is no misunderstanding unlike in the real life when you meet someone for the first time; you don’t even know if he/she would like to find a partner too. Besides, if you’re shy it’s difficult to talk with people and you have to make prominent efforts to seem to be the most relax as possible. Not only, dating online resolves this problem; because it’s easier to open yourself when you’re hidden behind a computer, but you’re not obliged to go out to meet people; in fact you have just to click!





    Réponse: Correction globalisation de seb06000, postée le 21-11-2009 à 20:52:59 (S | E)
    bonsoir,

    je vous laisse les indications de correction

    "With globalisation (orthographe) and the technological progress, communication between people by Internet is easier and more quickly ( j'utiliserais 'fast' en lui ajoutant le comparatif de superiorité) than in the past. We have from now on the possibility to chat with someone who lives in the other side (mal dit) of the world. It’s a great and a huge progress that we are benefitting so that it’s not surprising to notice a real increased use of online personal ads for dating.
    Indeed, this way of communication which is very rapid and simple of using, is a big success in the entire world; nowadays everybody has (conj) a computer with the (article inutile) Internet. Not only thanks to it, we can find what we want in record time but we can even find the kind of person we would like to meet! Nowadays, we’re not obliged to wait for a real date with the person we have met( sens?) to know if he/she corresponds to our expectations. Besides to meet someone by chance is too unfashionable. (it’s ironical…) It’s more advantageous to be able to select according to a description and a photo, people who may be fine. For example, if you like particularly( position de l'adverbe, avant le verbe) blond and attractive men, you can directly research( verbe qui ne va pas ici, passez par 'to look for') one among all people who are registered on website in order to find a person who corresponds to you and has the same interests. Therefore, you would have not( not est rattaché à Would) to go to a date with a person who is the totally(il faut l'adjectif ici) opposite of you and you would not be obliged to spend a boring time. Moreover, as all persons who are registered on the website want to date online, there is no misunderstanding unlike in the real life when you meet someone for the first time; you don’t even know if he/she would like to find a partner too. Besides, if you’re shy it’s difficult to talk with people and you have to make prominent efforts to seem to be the most relax as possible. Not only, dating online resolves this problem; because it’s easier to open yourself when you’re hidden behind a computer, but you’re not obliged to go out to meet people; in fact you have just( just se place avant le verbe) to click!

    Voilà ce sont des détails!

    Amicalement

    sebastien


    Réponse: Correction globalisation de pop65, postée le 22-11-2009 à 10:12:04 (S | E)
    Je vous remercie !


    Réponse: Correction globalisation de pop65, postée le 22-11-2009 à 10:15:23 (S | E)
    Voici la deuxième partie.
    Je vous remercie de prendre un peu de votre temps pour m'aider !

    Nevertheless there are many advantages to date online, I’ve never met someone by Internet and I’m not intending to begin to do it because I think this way of meeting is impersonal and there are not the emotions and sensations you have at the first date, which make the date exciting. We’re not at the supermarket where we can choose any products we want according to their label. It’s absurd, love arrives without being provoked. Moreover, we’re not certain if the descriptions people give are true and really correspond to them. Indeed, it’s too easy to present our self as we want to appear and to lie in order to be more attractive. That’s why when you meet the person in the real life; you’re very often disappointed because you he/she isn’t as you have thought. Besides, the past has revealed the dangerousness of this kind of dating. As you don’t really know who is talking to you on the net, you’re not sure of his/her identity; his/her age, appearance etc. Therefore, at the first real date, you don’t know his/her real intentions… Many teenagers were missed after they had a date with an unknown person they had met online


    Réponse: Correction globalisation de cecil_ward, postée le 24-11-2009 à 18:05:30 (S | E)
    Nevertheless there are many advantages to date online,
    - word order and "to" - "advantage(s)" needs the preposition "of"
    so needs to be one of the following
    - "there are many advantages of online dating/dating online"
    - "online dating/dating online has many advantages" (avoids the "of" and is perfectly idiomatic)

    > I’ve never met someone by Internet
    "on the internet" - In English the Internet would be conceptualised as a "location" after "meet" (verb requires a "place")

    but "talk to some one/send something over/via the internet (communication + means of transmission)
    (but compare "on the phone" and also "by phone" - "I talked to him on the phone/by phone")





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