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    A young girl

    << Forum anglais: Questions sur l'anglais || En bas

    [POSTER UNE NOUVELLE REPONSE] [Suivre ce sujet]


    A young girl
    Message de jodimoi posté le 14-01-2010 à 11:43:44 (S | E | F)

    Hello,
    Pouvez-vous corriger les fautes de mon résumé, merci d'avance.

    A young girl Claire was fifteen year old, she lived with her mother. She had a rabbit called Peter. Her mother was a nurse and she was divorced, she educated her child alone.
    Claire's mother worked a lot and she didn't see often her daughter during the day. So, they communicated by post it stuck on the refrigerator door.
    She did a lot of things at home for help her mother. Cooking, shopping, made appointment and she looked after children after school.Claire had boyfriends and a lot of friends.
    Claire was very proud of her mother. She wanted to be a woman as strong and brave as her mother.
    Suddenly, her mother has a breast cancer, she was very sick but she had a lot hopeful. But she died 9 months later. Before she wrote a lot of notes for her daughter about the life, expectancy.
    Claire lives with father's home with her rabbit Peter, she is very sad and upset. I miss her mother.

    Thanks
    Jodimoi


    Réponse: A young girl de gerondif, postée le 14-01-2010 à 19:12:34 (S | E)
    Bonsoir,

    A young girl Claire was fifteen year(pluriel) old, she lived with her mother. She had a rabbit called Peter. Her mother was a nurse and she was divorced, she educated(to raise existe aussi) her child alone.
    Claire's mother worked a lot and she didn't see often(place) her daughter during the day. So, they communicated by post it (Ah, je viens de comprendre la marque ! dans le doute stickers, notes,)stuck on the refrigerator door.
    She did a lot of things at home for(mauvais pour) help her mother. Cooking, shopping, made(en ing) appointment and she looked after children after school.Claire had boyfriends and a lot of friends.
    Claire was very proud of her mother. She wanted to be a woman as strong and brave as her mother.
    Suddenly, her mother has(prétérit. to get serait mieux : attraper) a breast cancer, she was very sick but she had a lot hopeful.(adjectif, impossible comme cod de had) But she died 9 months later. Before, she wrote a lot of notes for her daughter about the life expectancy.
    Claire lives with(plutôt dans) father's home with her rabbit Peter, she is very sad and upset. I(je ?) miss her mother.





    Réponse: A young girl de jodimoi, postée le 15-01-2010 à 08:54:41 (S | E)

    Hello,

    Merci Girondif pour votre aide. J'ai apporté les corrections.


    A young girl Claire was fifteen years old, she used to live with her mother. She had a rabbit called Peter. Her mother was a nurse who was divorced and she educated her child alone.
    Claire's mother worked a lot everyay and she didn't often see her daughter during the day. So, they communicated by sticky notes stuck on the refrigerator door.
    Claire did a lot of things at home to help her mother. Cooking, cleaning, shopping, making appointments and she looked after children after school. Claire had boyfriends and a lot of friends.
    she was very proud of her mother. She wanted to be a woman as strong and brave as her mother.
    Suddenly, her mother got breast cancer, she was very sick.
    She had frightened. She died 9 months later. Before, she died, she wrote a lot of notes for her daughter about life.
    Now Claire at her lives father's home with her rabbit Peter, she is very sad and upset. She misses her mother.

    Regards
    Jodimoi

    -------------------
    Modifié par jodimoi le 15-01-2010 14:26


    Réponse: A young girl de gerondif, postée le 15-01-2010 à 13:56:35 (S | E)
    Bonjour

    Claire, a young girl who was fifteen years old, lived with her mother. She had a rabbit called Peter. Her mother was a nurse and she was divorced, she educated her child alone.
    Claire's mother worked a lot and she didn't often see her daughter during the day. So, they communicated by sticky notes stuck on the refrigerator door.
    She did a lot of things at home to help her mother. Cooking, shopping, making appointments and she looked after children after school.Claire had boyfriends and a lot of friends.
    Claire was very proud of her mother. She wanted to be a woman as strong and brave as her mother.
    Suddenly, her mother got breast cancer, she was very sick.
    She had(être) frightened. She died 9 months later. Before, she wrote a lot of notes for her daughter about life expectancy.
    Claire lives (chez son père! at ....)father's home with her rabbit Peter, she is very sad and upset. She miss***** her mother.

    ** les verbes finissant par s, sh, ch, x et z prennent un " es " en 3ème personne du présent simple, prononcé [IZ]

    she kisses, brushes, watches, boxes, the phone buzzes...

    o s'il est seul devient oes:she goes, she does [Z]

    y seul devient ies: He cries, he carries

    mais: he plays, he buys ......

    Pour votre début de rédaction pensez aux adjectifs composés qui rendront la phrase plus compacte:

    A young fifteen-year-old girl named Claire once lived with her grandmother when a big bad wolf came and .....





    Réponse: A young girl de jodimoi, postée le 15-01-2010 à 14:34:45 (S | E)


    Hello,

    J'ai remodifié mon texte plus haut, sans voir votre deuxième correction.

    Cordialement

    Jodimoi


    Réponse: A young girl de gerondif, postée le 15-01-2010 à 16:43:32 (S | E)
    bonsoir;
    A young girl Claire was fifteen years old, she used to live with her mother. She had a rabbit called Peter. Her mother was a nurse who was divorced and she educated her child alone.
    Claire's mother worked a lot everyday and she didn't often see her daughter during the day. So, they communicated by sticky notes stuck on the refrigerator door.
    Claire did a lot of things at home to help her mother. Cooking, cleaning, shopping, making appointments and she looked after children after school. Claire had boyfriends and a lot of friends.
    she was very proud of her mother. She wanted to be as strong and brave a woman as her mother.
    Suddenly, her mother got breast cancer, she was very sick.
    She had frightened. She died 9 months later. Before she died, she wrote a lot of notes for her daughter about life.
    Now Claire lives at her father's home with her rabbit Peter, she is very sad and upset. She misses her mother.



    Réponse: A young girl de jodimoi, postée le 15-01-2010 à 19:07:37 (S | E)


    Hello,

    Merci encore pour votre aide.




    A young girl Claire was fifteen years old, she used to live with her mother. She had a rabbit called Peter. Her mother was a nurse who was divorced and she educated her child alone.
    Claire's mother worked a lot everyday and she didn't often see her daughter during the day. So, they communicated by sticky notes stuck on the refrigerator door.
    Claire did a lot of things at home to help her mother. Cooking, cleaning, shopping, making appointments and she looked after children after school. Claire has boyfriends and a lot of friends.
    she was very proud of her mother. She wanted to be as strong and brave a woman as her mother.
    Suddenly, her mother got breast cancer, she was very sick.
    She has frightened. She died 9 months later. Before she died, she wrote a lot of notes for her daughter about life.
    Now Claire lives at her father's home with her rabbit Peter, she is very sad and upset. She misses her mother.



    -------------------
    Modifié par jodimoi le 15-01-2010 19:08


    Réponse: A young girl de gerondif, postée le 15-01-2010 à 19:21:29 (S | E)
    She has(prétérit du verbe être) frightened.


    Réponse: A young girl de jodimoi, postée le 16-01-2010 à 11:43:37 (S | E)


    Hello,

    She was frightened.

    Thanks

    Jodimoi


    Réponse: A young girl de max83, postée le 20-01-2010 à 14:00:57 (S | E)
    A young girl was fifteen years old, she lived with her mother. She had a rabbit called Peter. Her mother was a nurse and she was divorced, she educated her child alone. Claire's mother worked a lot and she didn't see often her daughter during the day. So, they communicated by sticking notes on the refrigerator door. She did a lot of things at home to help her mother. Cooking, shopping, making appointement and she looked at children after school. Claire had boyfriends and a lot of friends. Claire was very proud of her mother. She wanted to be a woman as strong and brave as her mother. Suddently, her mother got a breast cancer, she was very sick but she had frightened. She died 9 months later. Before she wrote a lot of notes for a daughter about life. Claire lives at father's home with her rabbit Peter, she is very sad and upset. I miss her mother.



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