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    Correction/Gross national product

    Cours gratuits > Forum > Forum anglais: Questions sur l'anglais || En bas

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    Correction/Gross national product
    Message de marion21 posté le 09-02-2011 à 18:02:18 (S | E | F)
    Bonjour,
    Je dois présenter un texte et j'aimerais, s'il vous plaît, votre avis sur ma présentation et surtout m'aider à le corriger.
    Merci à vous
    .

    This text entitled "gross national product" is an article from British magazine The Economist, published on December 20th, 2005. (The twentieth of December two thousand and five)
    This text deals with the French’s physique and the idea that French people do get fat, contrary to popular myth.
    So, in the first paragraph, which is somehow introduction of the article, the author speaks caloric food consumed by the French at Christmas feast and belief that we know combining gastronomy with gluttony while staying slim, but this is not exactly reality.
    Indeed, in the next paragraph there are several results of investigations into the French and their weight. So we learn that obesity in the French increased from 8%(eight percent) to 11% (eleven percent) in 6 years. Moreover, today we can consider that over 40%( forty percent) of the population is overweight. These figures match to those of America in 1991(nineteen ninety one) and like them, tend to increase. Other information, these results could be false, since they are the result of polls made by the French when they were asked if they are fat, obviously some people have denied, creating an underestimation of these results.
    Then in the third paragraph, these are solutions in place to curb this situation. So, the parliamentary report has called for a public health campaign and a law was established to impose a tax of 1.5% (one point five percent) on advertising budgets of food companies if they do not favor healthy eating.
    In the following paragraph, it explains the cause of weight gain of the French, which is the recent interest worn to fast food. Indeed, McDonald's, KFC or other fast-food continue to spread across the country. There are also products such as frozen pizzas or sodas which are more prevalent in family meals and particularly in poorest households.
    In the last paragraph, the author of this article talks about a book entitled "French women do not get fat" written by Mireille Guiliano, a French woman based in America. But in reality, yes the French women put on weight but that does not seem to be a hang-up for them. This is proved by the author of the article by giving the example of Magalie, the winner of Star Academy TV show in 2005 who has voluptuous curves. And as the newspaper Le Parisien added: «It’s proof that, in order to succeed, physique no longer counts".
    To conclude, I think the newspaper Le Parisien did not entirely due to the fact that physique no longer counts in order to succeed. Actually, attitudes have changed and there is generally less discrimination in relation to physique persons and particularly weight. But when you look at all the singers, actors, anchormen or even the models in magazines, we realize that the physique keeps despite his importance.
    ------------------
    Modifié par bridg le 09-02-2011 18:04
    Formulation + titre



    Réponse: Correction/Gross national product de laure95, postée le 11-02-2011 à 11:28:52 (S | E)
    Bonjour,
    Voici ce que tu dois corriger:
    This text entitled "gross national product" is an article from the British magazine The Economist, published on December 20th, 2005. (The twentieth of December two thousand and five)
    This text deals with the French’s physique ? and the idea that French people do get fat, contrary to the popular myth.
    So, in the first paragraph, which is somehow an introduction of the article, the author speaks about the caloric food consumed by the French at Christmas feast and the belief that we know combining (pas la bonne forme du verbe) gastronomy with gluttony while staying slim, but this is not exactly the reality.
    Indeed, in the next paragraph there are several results of investigations into the French and their weight. So we learn that obesity in the French increased (je mettrai le present perfect) from 8%(eight percent) to 11% (eleven percent) in 6 years. Moreover, today we can consider that over 40%( forty percent) of the population is overweight. These figures match to those of America in 1991(nineteen ninety one) and like them, tend to increase. Other information ?, these results could be false, since they are the result of polls made by the French when they were asked if they are (pas le bon temps) fat, obviously some people have denied, creating an underestimation of these results.
    Then in the third paragraph, these are solutions in place to curb this situation. So, the parliamentary report has called for a public health campaign and a law was established to impose a tax of 1.5% (one point five percent) on advertising budgets of food companies if they do not favor healthy eating (pas le bon mot).
    In the following paragraph, it (que remplace ce IT?) explains the cause of weight gain of the French, which is the recent interest worn to fast food. Indeed, McDonald's, KFC or other fast-food continue to spread across the country. There are also products such as frozen pizzas or sodas which are more prevalent in family meals and particularly in the poorest households.
    In the last paragraph, the author of this article talks about a book entitled "French women do not get fat" written by Mireille Guiliano, a French woman based in America. But in reality, yes (ça ne se dit pas) the French women put on weight but that does not seem to be a hang-up for them. This is proved by the author of the article by giving the example of Magalie, the winner of Star Academy TV show in 2005 who has voluptuous curves. And as the newspaper Le Parisien added: «It’s proof that, in order to succeed, physique no longer counts".
    To conclude, I think the newspaper Le Parisien did not entirely due to the fact that physique no longer counts in order to succeed. Actually, attitudes have changed and there is generally less discrimination in relation to physique persons and particularly weight. But when you look at all the singers, actors, anchormen or even the models in magazines, we realize that the physique keeps despite his (pas le bon possessif: ce n'est pas l'importance d'une personne mais d'une idée) importance.




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