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    Correction/Oral

    Cours gratuits > Forum > Forum anglais: Questions sur l'anglais || En bas

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    Correction/Oral
    Message de malo56 posté le 06-04-2011 à 13:22:11 (S | E | F)
    Hello,

    J'aimerais bien avoir un regard "d'expert" sur la préparation de mon oral, alors si quelqu'un prend le temps de m'indiquer mes erreurs éventuelles, ce serait vraiment sympathique !
    Merci d'avance.

    "My speech is about St-Patrick’s day. It’s a Christian holiday celebrated internationally on 17 March. And as you probably guess, it commemorates Saint Patrick, the most commonly recognised of the patron saints of Ireland. Saint Patrick's Day was made an official feast day in the early 17th century, and has gradually become a secular celebration of Irish culture in general. That’s why first of all, i’ll speak about St Patrick’s Day as a Christian holiday, and then I will speak about the popular feast day that celebrates Irish Culture.

    I- St-Patrick as a Christian holiday

    If today, St. Patrick's Day is a celebration of Irish culture, it’s originally a Christian feast celebrated by the Catholic Church. The legend said that on March 17, St. Patrick (or also named Maewyn Succat) who came to Christianize Ireland, explained the Holy Trinity (According to this doctrine, God exists as three persons but is one God, meaning that God the Son and God the Holy Spirit have exactly the same nature or being as God the Father in every way) with a shamrock to the Irish (now it’s a symbol of Ireland). Moreover, St-Patrick’s day always takes place during Lent. In the Christian calendar, St. Patrick's Day is moved to Monday when it falls on a Sunday. It’s traditional for some Christians observe fasting for Lent, to break during the day of St. Patrick. Saint Patrick's Day has come to be associated with everything Irish: anything green, shamrocks and luck. Another legend says that St. Patrick drove the snakes from Ireland, and the snakes were all drowned in the ocean. In fact, it’s not quite the reason for this legend it’s probably because the snake was a pagan symbol and St. Patrick came to christianize Ireland. So, the feast of St. Patrick, celebrated on March 17, is the day of his supposed death, that’s why they want to honor his memory

    But just like Christmas, St. Patrick has lost its religious side to become a great popular festival that celebrates Irish culture, so now i’ll speak about the feast day celebrated all around the world

    II- St-Patrick as a feast day all around the world

    Indeed, if Saint Patrick's Day is a public holiday in the Republic of Ireland. It is also widely celebrated by the Irish diaspora, especially in places such as the Great Britain, Canada, the United States, Australia, and New Zealand or also France : in fact, in the entire world. In American cities with a large Irish population, St. Patrick's Day is a very big deal. It’s a big celebration with parades, music and songs, Irish food and drink of course. Some communities even go so far as to dye rivers or streams green. As you can see here, The Chicago River is dyed green each year for the St Patrick's Day celebration. It’s also a celebration with many symbols like shamrock of course, but also leprechauns with a pot of gold (the representation of the lucky), horseshoe, and the color green in general, or also beer, because, as you probably know, it’s also one of the days of the year when people drink lot of beer, so a good day for the pubs.

    As a way of conclusion, I can say that St. Patrick's Day can be celebrated as a religious holiday, or simply a holiday to honor the Irish heritage and culture."


    -------------------
    Modifié par malo56 le 06-04-2011 13:22

    -------------------
    Modifié par malo56 le 06-04-2011 13:27

    -------------------
    Modifié par lucile83 le 06-04-2011 13:31
    titre + couleur



    Réponse: Correction/Oral de gerondif, postée le 06-04-2011 à 14:08:36 (S | E)
    Bonjour,

    quelques maladresses mais assez peu d'erreurs. Estce que vos commentaires entre parenthèses passeront bien à l'oral, ou les détails qui font perdre le fil de la phrase?

    "My speech is about St-Patrick’s day. It’s a Christian holiday celebrated internationally on 17 March. (prononcer on the seventeenth of March) And as you probably guess, it commemorates Saint Patrick, the most commonly recognised (sonne bizarre, the most famous?)of the patron saints of Ireland. Saint Patrick's Day was made an official feast day in the early 17th century, and has gradually become a secular celebration of Irish culture in general. That’s why first of all, I’ll speak about St Patrick’s Day as a Christian holiday, and then I will speak about the popular feast day that celebrates Irish Culture.

    I- St-Patrick as a Christian holiday

    If today, St. Patrick's Day is a celebration of Irish culture, it’s originally a Christian feast celebrated by the Catholic Church. The legend said that on March 17, St. Patrick (or also named Maewyn Succat) who came to Christianize Ireland, explained the Holy Trinity (According to this doctrine, God exists as three persons but is one God, meaning that God the Son and God the Holy Spirit have exactly the same nature or being(??) as God the Father in every way) with a shamrock to the Irish (now it’s a symbol of Ireland). Moreover, St-Patrick’s day always takes place during Lent. In the Christian calendar, St. Patrick's Day is moved to Monday when it falls on a Sunday. It’s traditional for some Christians to observe fasting for Lent, to break(quel sens?) during the day of St. Patrick (Saint Patrick's day serait plus courant). Saint Patrick's Day has come to be associated with everything Irish: anything green, shamrocks and luck. Another legend says that St. Patrick drove the snakes from Ireland, and the snakes (were) all drowned in the ocean. In fact, it’s not quite the reason for this legend it’s probably because the snake was a pagan symbol and St. Patrick came to christianize Ireland. So, the feast of St. Patrick, celebrated on March 17, is the day of his supposed death, that’s why they want to honor his memory.

    But just like Christmas, St. Patrick has lost its religious side to become a great popular festival that celebrates Irish culture, so now I’ll speak about the feast day celebrated all around the world

    II- St-Patrick as a feast day all around the world

    Indeed, if Saint Patrick's Day is a public holiday in the Republic of Ireland. It is also widely celebrated by the Irish diaspora, especially in places such as the Great Britain, Canada, the United States, Australia, and New Zealand or also France : in fact, in the entire world. In American cities with a large Irish population, St. Patrick's Day is a very big deal. It’s a big celebration with parades, music and songs, Irish food and drink of course. Some communities even go so far as to dye rivers or streams green. As you can see here, The Chicago River is dyed green each year for the St Patrick's Day celebration. It’s also a celebration with many symbols like shamrock of course, but also leprechauns with a pot of gold (the representation of the lucky la chance se dit luck, lucky est un adjectif)), horseshoe(pluriel), and the color/colour green in general, or also beer, because, as you probably know, it’s also one of the days of the year when people drink lots of beer (soit a lot of beer, soit lots of beer), so a good day for the pubs.

    As a way of conclusion(in?), I can say that St. Patrick's Day can be celebrated as a religious holiday, or simply a holiday to honor the Irish heritage and culture."





    Réponse: Correction/Oral de malo56, postée le 06-04-2011 à 16:17:24 (S | E)
    Tout d'abord, merci de m'avoir éclairer de vos lumières ! Je pense avoir corrigé mes erreurs et avoir clarifié quelques passages qui étaient flous. J'ai, par ailleurs, modifié quelques passages. Qu'en pensez vous ?

    "My speech is about St-Patrick’s day. It’s a Christian holiday celebrated internationally on the seventeenth of March. And as you probably guess, it commemorates Saint Patrick, probably the most famous of the patron saints of Ireland. Saint Patrick's Day was made an official feast day in the early 17th century, and has gradually become a secular celebration of Irish culture in general. That’s why first of all, I’ll speak about the origin of St Patrick’s Day: a Christian holiday, and then I will speak about the actual popular feast day, that celebrates Irish Culture.

    I- St-Patrick as a Christian holiday

    If today, St. Patrick's Day is a celebration of Irish culture, it’s originally a Christian feast celebrated by the Catholic Church. The legend said that on March 17, St. Patrick (also named Maewyn Succat) who came to Christianize Ireland, explained the Holy Trinity (The Holy Trinity is part of many sects of Christian doctrine. The belief is that God is of three parts: God the Father, God the Son, as represented by Christ, and God the Holy Spirit. The key element of this belief is that God is at once a single God, but also that each aspect of God is individual) with a shamrock to the Irish (now it’s a symbol of Ireland). Moreover, St-Patrick’s day always takes place during Lent. In the Christian calendar, St. Patrick's Day is moved to Monday when it falls on a Sunday. It’s traditional for some Christians to observe fasting for Lent, to break during the day of St. Patrick. Another legend says that St. Patrick drove the snakes from Ireland, and the snakes were all drowned in the ocean. In fact, it’s not quite the reason for this legend, it’s probably because the snake was a pagan symbol and St. Patrick came to Christianize Ireland. So, the feast of St. Patrick, celebrated on March 17, is the day of his supposed death, that’s why they want to honor his memory.

    But just like Christmas, St. Patrick has lost its religious side to become a great popular festival that celebrates Irish culture, so now I’ll speak about the feast day celebrated all around the world

    II- St-Patrick as a feast day all around the world

    Indeed, if Saint Patrick's Day is a public holiday in the Republic of Ireland. It is also widely celebrated by the Irish diaspora, especially in places such as Great Britain, Canada, the United States, Australia, and New Zealand or also France : in fact, in the entire world. In American cities with a large Irish population, St. Patrick's Day is a very big deal. It’s a big celebration with parades, music and songs, Irish food and drink of course. Some communities even go so far as to dye rivers or streams green. As you can see here, The Chicago River is dyed green each year for the St Patrick's Day celebration. It’s also a celebration with many symbols like shamrock of course, but also leprechauns with a pot of gold (symbol of luck) horseshoes, and the colour green in general, or also beer, because, as you probably know, it’s also one of the days of the year when people drink a lot of beer, so it’s a good day for the pubs.

    As a way of conclusion, I can say that St. Patrick's Day can be celebrated as a religious holiday, or simply a holiday to honor the Irish heritage and culture"


    -------------------
    Modifié par lucile83 le 06-04-2011 17:44 couleur



    Réponse: Correction/Oral de gerondif, postée le 06-04-2011 à 17:38:35 (S | E)
    Bonsoir,

    "My speech is about St-Patrick’s day. It’s a Christian holiday celebrated internationally on the seventeenth of March. And as you probably guess, it commemorates Saint Patrick, probably the most famous of the patron saints of(in) Ireland. Saint Patrick's Day was made an official feast day in the early 17th century, and has gradually become a secular celebration of Irish culture in general. That’s why first of all, I’ll speak about the origin of St Patrick’s Day: a Christian holiday, and then I will speak about the actual popular feast day, that celebrates Irish Culture.

    I- St-Patrick as a Christian holiday

    If today, St. Patrick's Day is a celebration of Irish culture, it’s originally a Christian feast celebrated by the Catholic Church. The legend said that on March 17(th), St. Patrick (also named Maewyn Succat) who came to Christianize Ireland, explained the Holy Trinity (The Holy Trinity is part of (representative of, respected by) many sects of Christian doctrine. The belief is that God is of three parts: God the Father, God the Son, as represented by Christ, and God the Holy Spirit. The key element of this belief is that God is at once (immediatement ? ou both: à la fois)a single God, but also that each aspect of God is individual) with a shamrock to the Irish (now it’s a symbol of Ireland). Moreover, St-Patrick’s day always takes place during Lent. In the Christian calendar, St. Patrick's Day is moved to Monday when it falls on a Sunday. It’s traditional for some Christians to observe fasting for Lent, and to break it(rompre le jeûne?) during the day of St. Patrick. Another legend says that St. Patrick drove the snakes from Ireland, and the snakes (were) all drowned in the ocean. In fact, it’s not quite the reason for this legend, it’s probably because the snake was a pagan symbol and St. Patrick came to Christianize Ireland. So, the feast of St. Patrick is celebrated on March 17, the day of his supposed death, that’s why they want to honor his memory.

    But just like Christmas, St. Patrick has lost its religious side to become a great popular festival that celebrates Irish culture, so now I’ll speak about the feast day celebrated all around the world

    II- St-Patrick as a feast day all around the world

    Indeed, if Saint Patrick's Day is a public holiday in the Republic of Ireland. It is also widely celebrated by the Irish diaspora, especially in places such as Great Britain, Canada, the United States, Australia, and New Zealand or also France : in fact, in the entire world. In American cities with a large Irish population, St. Patrick's Day is a very big deal. It’s a big celebration with parades, music and songs, Irish food and drink of course. Some communities even go so far as to dye rivers or streams green. As you can see here, The Chicago River is dyed green each year for the St Patrick's Day celebration. It’s also a celebration with many symbols like shamrocks of course, but also leprechauns with a pot of gold (symbol of luck) horseshoes, and the colour green in general, or also beer, because, as you probably know, it’s also one of the days of the year when people drink a lot of beer, so it’s a good day for the pubs.

    As a way of (en guise de? cela semble étrange) conclusion, I can say that St. Patrick's Day can be celebrated as a religious holiday, or simply a holiday to honor the Irish heritage and culture"







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