Correction /sujet au choix

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Correction /sujet au choix
Message de ioshy posté le 24-05-2011 à 19:56:44 (S | E | F)
‎Bonjour,

je dois écrire une lettre dans laquelle je dois m'opposer au destinataire sur un sujet au choix. J'ai choisi la corrida. Je vais donc, écrire à Juan Carlos 1er, le roi d'Espagne.
J'ai beaucoup de mal en anglais et votre aide me serait vraiment inutile utile.
Au niveau des temps c'est bon ? Le mot à mort mot n'est pas flagrant ?
Merci d'avance !

Dear reigning King of Spain, Juan Carlos I,

Hello, my name is Mark Martin.
I write some words to you because I want to ban the bullfight.
I am the El Refugio's president. You know this association ? It's a famous association which defends the animals.
We have thrown a petition for to ban this slaughter !
The last week, you said "during the fights bulls doesn't suffer".
Are you serious sir ? Bulls doesn't suffer ? It's impossible ! It's an animal ! It's something alive !
This activity is so stupid and it's useless.
Your countrie is uncertain with that. A lot of demonstrations are every week in your streets.
You must stop it quickly !
Every European Union's countries are with me !
When you was named king, you have promised to ban the bullfight.
So, my question is: Why you don't do that ? Why you don't kept your promise ?
I would like you answer me for to ban or to reduce theses bullfights.

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Modifié par lucile83 le 24-05-2011 20:17

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Réponse: Correction /sujet au choix de sherry48, postée le 24-05-2011 à 23:17:39 (S | E)
Hi, here are some suggestions for you.

Dear reigning King of Spain, Juan Carlos I,(the name, then the title)

Hello, my name is Mark Martin.
I write some words to you because I want to ban the bullfight. (present continuous is better)(2 bullfights or bullfighting)
I am the El Refugio's president. (president of El Refugio is better)You know this association ? (auxiliary verb)It's a famous association which defends the animals.
We have thrown a petition for to ban this slaughter !(different verb)
The Last week, you said "during the fights, bulls doesn't suffer". (3rd person plural)
Are you serious, sir ? Bulls doesn't suffer ? (3rd person plural) It's impossible ! It's an animal ! It's something alive ! (plural, like bulls)
This activity is so stupid and it's useless.
Your countrie (spelling) is uncertain (maybe a more precise word?) with that. A lot of demonstrations are every week in your streets. (it sounds better with the frequency at the end)
You must stop it quickly ! (should?)
Every European Union's countries are with me !(not possessive)When you were named king, you have promised to ban the bullfight.(see above)
So, my question is: Why you don't do that ? Why you don't kept your promise ? (auxiliary verb>subject>verb...not past tense...use have instead of do)
I would like you answer (infinitive) me and for to ban or to reduce theses bullfights.
You should be able to make a good revision. Sherry

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Réponse: Correction /sujet au choix de ioshy, postée le 25-05-2011 à 17:53:05 (S | E)
Thank you so much !

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