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    Correction/world poverty

    Cours gratuits > Forum > Forum anglais: Questions sur l'anglais || En bas

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    Correction/world poverty
    Message de pepita27 posté le 21-02-2012 à 13:42:27 (S | E | F)
    Bonjour,

    je dois effectuer une présentation en anglais et j'aimerais avoir une correction de mon texte s'il vous plaît car j'ai quelques difficultés!
    Par avance je vous remercie!

    Consequences of african poverty

    A lack of productivity
    Disease
    Most of the time disease , such as HIV/AIDS or malaria, can’t be cured because of medical costs that many families are not able to afford.
    [Malaria: Malaria is an infectious blood disease caused by a parasite that is transmitted from one human to another by the bite of infected mosquitoes.]
    • Drug abuse and addiction

    • Child and women abuse
    According to experts, many women become victims of trafficking prostitution, as a means of survival and economic desperation.
    Because of Deterioration of living conditions children are often forced to abandon school in order to contribute to the family income, putting them at risk of being exploited in working hard

    • Homelessness

    • Educational deprivation

    • Bad health and Malnutrition
    Poor health decreases the amount of work impoverished individuals can do, lowering their income and driving them deeper into poverty he poor have diets that are less nourishing Malnutrition has bad effects on children and adults: there are more birth defects, accidents, disease, and reported mental illness Another result of these factors is that they have higher absenteeism at work and school, lower energy levels, lower productivity, and shorter life spans

    Solutions

    What can we do to lower african’s poverty?
    One of the solution is to develop their technologies With Internet, african farmers can research current market prices and sell his crops at a better price.
    Instead of selling his crops at a loss to the business men who will continue to bargain(négocier) for the lowest of prices,Another solution is:

    Fair Trade (commerce équitable) It is an organized social movement and market-based approach that aims to help producers in developing countries to make better trading conditions The movement promotes the payment of a higher price to exporters t focuses in particular on exports from developing countries to developed countries, most particularly coffee, sugar, tea, bananas, honey, cotton, wine etc
    To drop the debt of the poorest African countries is also really helpful for african countries These plan comes from the G8 (the 8 richest countries) who decided to

    Donations:

    “the three richest men in the world are wealthier than the 48 poorest countries combined.
    To construct water well and provide water management and distribution techniques in order to solve the burning issue of potable water for domestic, industrial and agriculture requirement
    To provide access to education in order to yield healthy, self-reliant young adults who contribute back to the community.

    To develop regional and continent-wide tourism marketing

    Birth control

    Organisations

    All around the world there are organisations which help african people against famine, unclean water

    Unicef
    Which means United Nations of International Children’s Emergency Fund
    This organisation improves children’s livelihoods :
    His education, his survival, development and protection and his prevention against AIDS

    World Camp
    World Camp enriches the lives of children in disadvantaged communities worldwide.

    Volunteer Africa
    1. enabling people to make a difference to the lives of rural Africans
    2. to raise funds for our partner NGOs.

    The Water Project
    The Water Project is able to work with local partners to provide closer access to clean water. Their goal is to bring clean, sustainable water supplies to within a 1km (1/2 mile) of a village. By doing so, communities can be freed to begin working themselves out of poverty.
    The lack of water is an often insurmountable obstacle to helping oneself. You can't grow food, you can't build housing, you can't stay healthy, you can't stay in school and you can't keep working.

    African Women
    The main objectives of this organisation is to campaign against violence, sexual abuse, and their integration in their society

    In conclusion

    it remains too much poor people all over the world and we have to act against the poverty. Everybody has the right to be happy
    Here are the websites used for this presentation

    -------------------
    Modifié par lucile83 le 21-02-2012 17:45


    Réponse: Correction/world poverty de notrepere, postée le 22-02-2012 à 00:33:26 (S | E)
    Bonjour

    En général, votre texte est bon.

    Consequences of african poverty

    A lack of productivity
    Disease
    Most of the time, diseases such as HIV/AIDS or malaria, can’t be cured because of medical costs that many families are not able to afford.

    • Child and women abuse
    According to experts, many women become victims of sex trafficking and prostitution, as a means of survival and economic desperation.
    Because of Deterioration of living conditions, children are often forced to abandon school in order to contribute to the family income, putting them at risk of being exploited in working hard

    Bad Poor health and Malnutrition
    Poor health decreases the amount of work impoverished individuals can do, lowering their income and driving them deeper into poverty.
    The poor have diets that are less nourishing
    Malnutrition has bad (un autre adjectif) effects on children and adults: there are more birth defects, accidents, disease, and reported mental illness
    Another result of these factors is that they have higher absenteeism at work and school, lower energy levels, lower productivity, and shorter life spans

    Solutions

    What can we do to lower african’s poverty?
    One of the solutions is to develop their technologies
    With Internet, african farmers can research current market prices and sell his(accorde) crops at a better price.
    Instead of selling his crops at a loss to the business men who will continue to bargain(négocier) for the lowest of prices (phrase à revoir)

    Another solution is:

    Fair Trade (commerce équitable) It is an organized social movement and market-based approach that aims to help producers in developing countries to make better trading conditions The movement promotes the payment of a higher price to exporters that focuses in particular on exports from developing countries to developed countries, most particularly coffee, sugar, tea, bananas, honey, cotton, wine etc
    To drop the debt of the poorest African countries is also really helpful for African countries.
    These plan comes from the G8 (the 8 richest countries) who decided to

    Donations:

    “the three richest men in the world are wealthier than the 48 poorest countries combined.
    To construct water wells and provide water management and distribution techniques in order to solve the burning issue of potable water for domestic, industrial and agriculture requirements
    To provide access to education in order to yield healthy, self-reliant young adults who contribute back to the community.

    To develop regional and continent-wide tourism marketing (ordre des mots; il faut 'of' entre les deux)


    All around the world there are organisations which taht help african people against with issues of famine, unclean water, etc.

    Unicef
    Which means United Nations of International Children’s Emergency Fund
    This organisation improves children’s livelihoods :
    His (accorde: children) education, survival, development and protection and prevention against AIDS

    Volunteer Africa
    1. enabling people to make a difference in the lives of rural Africans
    2. to raise funds for our partner NGOs.

    The Water Project
    The Water Project is able to work with local partners to provide closer access to clean water. Their goal is to bring clean, sustainable water supplies to within a 1km (1/2 mile) of a village. By doing so, communities can be freed to begin working themselves out of poverty.
    The lack of water is an often insurmountable obstacle to helping oneself. You can't grow food, you can't build housing, you can't stay healthy, you can't stay in school and you can't keep working.

    African Women
    The main objectives of this organisation is to campaign against violence, sexual abuse, and their integration in their society

    In conclusion

    it remains too much poor people all over the world and we have to act against the poverty. Everybody has the right to be happy
    Here are the websites used for this presentatio




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