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    Correction/présentation

    Cours gratuits > Forum > Forum anglais: Questions sur l'anglais || En bas

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    Correction/présentation
    Message de anma posté le 08-05-2012 à 18:30:30 (S | E | F)
    Bonjour à toutes et à tous,

    Je ne suis pas sûre que ce petit texte de présentation soit correct, et j'aurais besoin de votre aide s'il vous plait pour corriger les erreurs.

    My name is xxxxx xxxxxx and I am an architect graduated at the "Universidad Politécnica de Madrid”, with over 10 years experience in CAD tools and graphic edition. Currently I am doing computer graphics and delineation in the architecture field as well as interior design, landscape gardening, and expositions and events designs, helping others professionals to conceptualize all kinds of spaces, products and ideas.
    As an architect devoted to computer graphics, I would like to point up that I am prepared not only to obtain punctual images in 3D but also to express an idea in its entirety, drawing up further graphic documents as plans, diagrams, sketches, presentations, mountings, scales models etc.
    During the last years, the volume of the graphic documents required to carry out an architectural project has been increasing hand in hand with the progress of the new graphic tools and consequently has now an impact on the quantity of work to be developed. Else, because of the accelerated rate on which these resources are updated, it is difficult for the professionals to keep up to date on every detail.

    Merci pour vos réponses.

    -------------------
    Modifié par anma le 08-05-2012 18:37

    -------------------
    Modifié par lucile83 le 08-05-2012 19:18


    Réponse: Correction/présentation de sherry48, postée le 09-05-2012 à 15:30:49 (S | E)
    Hello. There are very few errors!
    My name is xxxxx xxxxxx and I am an architect graduated at the "Universidad Politécnica de Madrid”, with over 10 years experience in CAD tools and graphic edition (I'm not sure if this is the right word...I think it needs to end in ing). Currently I am doing computer graphics and delineation in the architecture field as well as interior design, landscape gardening, and expositions and events designs, helping others professionals to conceptualize all kinds of spaces, products and ideas.
    As an architect devoted to computer graphics, I would like to point up that I am prepared not only to obtain (Consider another verb.) punctual (I'm not sure this is the right word.) images in 3D but also to express an idea in its entirety, drawing up further graphic documents _ as plans, diagrams, sketches, presentations, mountings, scales models etc.
    During the last years,(revise or add a word) the volume of the graphic documents required to carry out an architectural project has been increasing hand in hand with the progress of the new graphic tools (consider ending this long sentence here, and starting the next sentence with consequently. You will have to revise it slightly.) and consequently has now an impact on the quantity of work to be developed. Else, because of the accelerated rate on which these resources are updated, it is difficult for the professionals to keep up to date on every detail.
    Sherry



    Réponse: Correction/présentation de anma, postée le 09-05-2012 à 17:32:30 (S | E)

    Merci beaucoup Sherry. J'espère que ce sera mieux maintenant :

    My name is xxxxx xxxxxx and I am an architect graduated from the "Universidad Politécnica de Madrid”, with over 10 years experience in CAD tools and graphic editing. Currently I am doing computer graphics and delineation in the architecture field as well as interior design, landscape gardening, and expositions and events designs, helping others professionals to conceptualize all kinds of spaces, products and ideas.
    As an architect devoted to computer graphics, I would like to point out that I am prepared not only to get specific images in 3D but also to express an idea in its entirety, drawing up further graphic documents _ as plans, diagrams, sketches, presentations, mountings, scales models etc.
    In the last years,the volume of the graphic documents required to carry out an architectural project has been increasing hand in hand with the progress of the new graphic tools.Consequently this all has now an impact on the quantity of work to be developed. Moreover, because of the accelerated rate (or pace ?) at which these resources are updated, it is difficult for the professionals to keep up to date on every detail.

    anma



    Réponse: Correction/présentation de sherry48, postée le 09-05-2012 à 20:56:41 (S | E)
    Hello. Yes, it is better.
    ..as well as interior design, landscape gardening, and expositions and events designs, ...I'm questioning this.
    helping others professionals to conceptualize ...
    ...I am prepared not only to get (Obtain was okay...I just couldn't understand it with punctual.)
    ... drawing up further graphic documents _ as plans, diagrams, sketches, presentations, mountings, scales models etc. (Scales describes models, right? Therefore it's an adjective, so...?)
    In the last years, (The phrase should be...In the last few years, or you can use recent instead. This construction is used for singular...in the last year.)
    the volume of the graphic documents required to carry out an architectural project has been increasing hand in hand with the progress of the new graphic tools.Consequently this all has now an impact (place)
    Moreover, because of the accelerated rate (or pace ?) Either one is okay.
    ...it is difficult for the professionals to keep up to date on every detail.
    You usually don't need to use the article 'the' when it's before a nonspecific noun.
    Sherry




    Réponse: Correction/présentation de anma, postée le 09-05-2012 à 23:54:36 (S | E)
    Bonjour,

    My name is xxxxx xxxxxx and I am an architect graduated from the "Universidad Politécnica de Madrid”, with over 10 years experience in CAD tools and graphic editing. Currently I am doing computer graphics and delineation in the architecture field as well as interior design, landscape gardening, and designs of exhibitions and events( may be this is better ?), helping other professionals to conceptualize all kinds of spaces, products and ideas.
    As an architect devoted to computer graphics, I would like to point out that I am prepared not only to obtain specific images in 3D but also to express an idea in its entirety, drawing up further graphic documents as plans, diagrams, sketches, presentations, mountings, scale models etc.
    In the last few years,the volume of graphic documents required to carry out an architectural project has been increasing hand in hand with the progress of new graphic tools.Consequently this all now has an impact on the quantity of work to be developed. Moreover, because of the accelerated rate at which these resources are updated, it is difficult for professionals to keep up to date on every detail.

    Thank you.
    anma

    -------------------
    Modifié par anma le 10-05-2012 00:13

    -------------------
    Modifié par lucile83 le 10-05-2012 06:09



    Réponse: Correction/présentation de sherry48, postée le 10-05-2012 à 23:02:54 (S | E)
    Hello.
    It looks very good, but you really should write...documents such as....Sherry



    Réponse: Correction/présentation de anma, postée le 11-05-2012 à 13:08:53 (S | E)
    Hello Sherry

    Thank you very much for your help.
    Have a nice day.
    Anma




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