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    Correction/textes courts

    Cours gratuits > Forum > Forum anglais: Questions sur l'anglais || En bas

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    Correction/textes courts
    Message de amande224 posté le 23-01-2013 à 18:51:16 (S | E | F)
    Bonsoir,

    je dois préparer des oraux et j'ai décidé d'apprendre la conclusion et l'introduction. Je les ai faites mais j'ai peur d'avoir des fautes.
    Pouvez-vous m'aider s'il vous plaît ?

    Premier oral :
    Everywhere, on the TV, radio, we listen “progress of this”, “progress of that”. Progress is a vast word but we can say that progress is a belief that the world can become better in terms of art, science, technology, liberty and quality of life. Today, for me, progress is more and more important in our life, there are progress in technology with TV, computer, progress in medicine with drugs, vaccines. In this way, the problem is to know if progress is always for the better ?

    I will explain my ideas in two parts, one, where I'm alright that progress is always for the better ans an other for show that progress can be bad.


    Progress is a good thing when we see self-made man as Andrew Carnegie or progress in medicine with new treatment. Furthermore progress implies changes for old traditions to a new way of life. But sometimes, if progress isn't control, consequences can be worse as pollution, and above all modern disease which have a direct link with progress and kill increasingly people.

    Deuxième oral :
    Heroes, every people have heroes, for me heroes can be a real or imaginary person who distinguishes by his action, acts, or who brings good things to humanity, she dead to defend people or their country, a fair cause, or help people with lock to interest too. I think that a hero isn't necessary famous, but it's my opinion, each person has his definition of a hero and heroes can change during our life. That's why we can ask who are different heroes, why have they changed and what have in common ?

    I will explain my ideas in three parts, one for heroes of the past and current heroes, an another for reasons of change of our heroes and things they are in common.


    As an conclusion, we can say that they are different heroes. They can be the same of the past as composers, scientist or writers. But, a lot have changed, now heroes are composed of sportsmen, activists, journalists or business man. Reasons of change are numerous but today it's above all the crisis for example which made that people seek comfort, dream and hope in hereos.

    Merci d'avance

    -------------------
    Modifié par amande224 le 23-01-2013 18:58
    -------------------
    Modifié par lucile83 le 23-01-2013 20:57
    -------------------
    Modifié par amande224 le 23-01-2013 21:44



    Réponse: Correction/textes courts de amande224, postée le 26-01-2013 à 17:41:35 (S | E)
    Je me permets de remonter mon texte. Merci.



    Réponse: Correction/textes courts de gerondif, postée le 27-01-2013 à 00:01:07 (S | E)
    Bonsoir,
    on sent quand on lit votre texte une trame française un peu trop orale d'ailleurs à mon avis, je veux dire appartenant trop à la langue parlée et non à un argumentaire, et la traduction en est assez maladroite, très mot-à-mot avec de mauvais choix de structures ou de mots. Les remarques de Lucile dans votre dernier envoi anglais rejoignent un peu les miennes.
    Prenez par exemple:

    J'expliquerai mes idées en deux parties, une où je suis d'accord que (langue pas assez soutenue à mon avis)le progrès est toujours pour le mieux et une autre pour montrer que le progrès peut être mauvais: Mais les structures sont vraiment fausses.
    I will explain my ideas in two parts, one, where I'm alright that progress is always for the better and an other for show that progress can be bad


    Everywhere, on the TV, radio, we listen(entendre et écouter) “progress of this”, “progress of that”. Progress is a vast word (un mot peut-il être vaste?) but we can say that progress is a belief that the world can become better in terms of art, science, technology, liberty and quality of life. Today, for me, progress is more and more important in our life(pluriel), there are progress (verbe pluriel mais nom singulier)in technology with TV, computer, progress in medicine with drugs, vaccines(vaccination. In this way(de cette façon?), the problem is to know if progress is always for the better ?

    I will explain my ideas in two parts, one, where I'm alright that progress is always for the better ans an other for show that progress can be bad.


    Progress is a good thing when we see a self-made man as'en tant que? ou comme au sens comparatif de like) Andrew Carnegie or progress in medicine with new treatments. Furthermore progress implies changes for(from?) old traditions to a new way of life. But sometimes, if progress isn't control(participe passé), consequences can be worse as pollution, and above all modern diseases which have a direct link with progress and kill increasingly(de plus en plus ? ) people.

    Deuxième oral :
    Heroes, every people(mot pluriel, incompatible avec every) have heroes, for me heroes(pluriel) can be a(singulier, ça ne va pas) real or imaginary person who distinguishes(qui se distingue ) by his action, acts, or who brings good things to humanity, she dead to (confusion entre "mort" adjectif, et le verbe mourir)defend people or their country, a fair cause, or help people with lock to interest (quel sens, ce "lock"?)too. I think that a hero isn't necessarily famous, but it's my opinion, each person has his definition of a hero and heroes can change during our life. That's why we can ask who are different heroes, why have they changed and what have in common ?(pas d'inversion en style indirect)

    I will explain my ideas in three parts, one for heroes of the past and current heroes, and another for reasons of change of our heroes and things (maladroit)they are(être ou avoir) in common.


    As an conclusion, we can say that they are different heroes. They can be the same of the past as composers, scientists or writers. But, a lot have changed, now heroes are composed of sportsmen, activists, journalists or business man. Reasons of(for) change are numerous but today it's(maladroit) above all the crisis for example which made that (c'est la crise qui fait que.... français traduit, maladroit en anglais)people seek comfort, dream and hope in hereos.





    Réponse: Correction/textes courts de amande224, postée le 27-01-2013 à 11:40:44 (S | E)
    Bonjour, merci de m'avoir répondu, j'ai modifié une partie mais le reste je ne sais pas trop comment faire ...

    Everywhere, on the TV, radio, we often heard the word progress. The word progress include a lot of ideas but we can say that progress is a belief that the world can become better in terms of art, science, technology, liberty and quality of life. Today, for me, progress is more and more important in our lifes, there is progress in technology with TV, computer, progress in medicine with drugs, vaccines. Like this, the problem is to know if progress is always for the better ?

    I will explain my ideas in two parts, one, where we will explain in what progress is always for the better and an other to explicate that progress can be bad


    Progress is a good thing when we see a self-made man like Andrew Carnegie or progress in medicine with new treatments. Furthermore progress implies changes from old traditions to a new way of life. But sometimes, if progress isn't controled, consequences can be worse as pollution, and above all modern diseases which have a direct link with progress and kill increasingly (de plus en plus ? oui, ca ne va pas ?) people.

    Deuxième oral :
    Heroes, a lot of people have heroes, for me hero can be a real or imaginary person who distinguishes(qui se distingue, oui ) by his action, acts, or who brings good things to humanity, she dies to defend people or their country, a fair cause, or help people with none interest too. I think that a hero isn't necessarily famous, but it's my opinion, each person has his definition of a hero and heroes can change during our life. That's why we can ask who are different heroes, why they have changed and what have in common ?(pas d'inversion en style indirect, je ne vois pas quoi changer dans la deuxième partie de la question ...)

    I will explain my ideas in three parts, one for heroes of the past and current heroes, and another for reasons of change of our heroes and things (maladroit, je sais pas quoi mettre du coup ?)they have in common.


    As an conclusion, we can say that they are different heroes. They can be the same of the past as composers, scientists or writers. But, a lot have changed, now heroes are composed of sportsmen, activists, journalists or business man. Reasons for change are numerous but today it's(maladroit, je sais pas par quoi changer ?) above all the crisis for example which made that (c'est la crise qui fait que.... français traduit, maladroit en anglais, je sais pas non plus quoi mettre à la place ..)people seek comfort, dream and hope in hereos.



    Réponse: Correction/textes courts de gerondif, postée le 27-01-2013 à 17:30:15 (S | E)
    Bonsoir,

    Everywhere, on the TV, radio, we often heard(pourquoi un prétérit) the word progress. The word progress includes a lot of ideas but we can say that progress is a belief that the world can become better in terms of art, science, technology, liberty and quality of life. Today, for me, progress is more and more important in our lifes, there is progress in technology with TV, computer, progress in medicine with drugs, vaccines. Like this("comme cela" ne veut rien dire, ainsi au sens de donc se dirait"so")), the problem is to know if progress is always for the better ?

    I will explain my ideas in two parts, one, where we will explain in what progress is always for the better and an other to explicate/show that progress can be bad


    Progress is a good thing when we see a self-made man like Andrew Carnegie or progress in medicine with new treatments. Furthermore progress implies changes from old traditions to a new way of life. But sometimes, if progress isn't controlled, consequences can be worse as pollution, and above all modern diseases which have a direct link with progress and kill increasingly (ne va pas:siginifie "en augmentation", différent de "more and more") people.

    Deuxième oral :
    Heroes, a lot of people have heroes, for me a hero can be a real or imaginary person who distinguishes(qui se distingue? le verbe en va pas, conjuguez to stand out) ) by his actions, acts, or who brings good things to humanity, she (pourquoi "she"? une personne?) dies to defend people or their country, a fair cause, or help people with none interest too. I think that a hero isn't necessarily famous, but it's my opinion, each person has his definition of a hero and heroes can change during our life. That's why we can ask who are the different heroes, why they have changed and what they have (il faut un sujet devant un verbe) in common ?

    I will explain my ideas in three parts, one for heroes of the past and current heroes, and another for reasons of change of our heroes and things (maladroit, je sais pas quoi mettre du coup ?)they have in common.


    As an conclusion, we can say that they are different heroes.
    ils sont des héros différents ne veut rien dire: vous vuliez sans doute dire: il y a différents types de héros.
    They can be the same of as those of the past aslike composers, scientists or writers. But, a lot have changed, now heroes are composed of sportsmen, activists, journalists or business man. Reasons for change are numerous but today it's(maladroit, je sais pas par quoi changer ?) above all the crisis for example which made that (c'est la crise qui fait que.... français traduit, maladroit en anglais, je sais pas non plus quoi mettre à la place ..)people seek comfort, dream and hope in hereos.

    The current economic crisis is the reason why people.......





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