Accueil du site pour apprendre le français Créer un test / 1 leçon par semaine
Connectez-vous !

Cliquez ici pour vous connecter
Nouveau compte
4 millions de comptes créés

100% gratuit !
[Avantages]

  • Accueil
  • Accès rapides
  • Imprimer
  • Livre d'or
  • Plan du site
  • Recommander
  • Signaler un bug
  • Faire un lien

  • Comme des milliers de personnes, recevez gratuitement chaque semaine une leçon de français !





    > Publicités :




    > Recommandés:
    -Jeux gratuits
    -Nos autres sites
       



    Correction/Diary of Immigrant

    Cours gratuits > Forum > Forum anglais: Questions sur l'anglais || En bas

    [POSTER UNE NOUVELLE REPONSE] [Suivre ce sujet]


    Correction/Diary of Immigrant
    Message de happyboy3311 posté le 26-09-2013 à 17:26:01 (S | E | F)
    Bonjour,

    En classe, nous travaillons actuellement sur l'histoire d'Ellis Island. Notre professeur nous a demandé d'écrire un texte de 200 mots en nous mettant à la place d'un immigrant en partance pour Ellis Island, de raconter son départ, son voyage et son arrivée. Je pense avoir fait quelques erreurs... Pourriez-vous m'aider à les trouver ?
    Merci d'avance pour votre réponse !

    D.1:
    This is it. Today is the time for me to leave home. I have been preparing this one way journey for months. Now, I can see the landscape of Warsaw, my homeland, running and I’m thinking about my family. They may be still crying. I hope that they will be able to join me soon. Besides I wish I could manage my life in America…The train is stopping…

    D.2:
    I didn’t sleep a lot. Indeed I left the train station very early. I will walk during two days.
    I’m looking forward to arriving to the boat! I have saved money just enough to make my journey… I’m exciting!

    D.5:
    I’m arriving yesterday! Unfortunately, there are a lot of people… Whereas first and second class citizens have cabins, the third class sleeps in the hold and on the steerage. It’s dirty and overcrowded! I’m afraid however I want to fulfil my dream…

    D.10:
    The see is calm. On the contrary, I’m anxious and I’m feeling lonely… I miss my family…
    If I made an upward mobility I would send money to Warsaw! They will be proud of their son.

    D.27:
    When I saw the Statue of Liberty it was amazing! Men asked me a lot then they said “Welcome to the land of the free!”
    America, I’m here!

    -------------------
    Modifié par lucile83 le 26-09-2013 18:49


    Réponse: Correction/Diary of Immigrant de gerondif, postée le 26-09-2013 à 18:36:44 (S | E)
    Hello,

    D.1:
    This is it. Today is the time for me to leave home. I have been preparing this one way journey for months. Now, I can see the landscape of Warsaw, my homeland, running and I’m thinking about my family. They may be still crying. I hope that they will be able to join me soon. Besides (I hope I will manage serait un espoir vers le futur, I wish i could est un regret)I wish I could manage my life in America…The train is stopping…

    D.2:
    I didn’t sleep a lot (much est plus relevé). Indeed I left the train station very early. I will walk during two days.(during répond à la question when alors que for répond à la question how long: I was ill for two days during the holidays)
    I’m looking forward to arriving to the boat! I have saved money just enough to make my journey… I’m exciting(participe passé)!

    D.5:
    I’m arriving yesterday(tomorrow serait plus logique)! Unfortunately, there are a lot of people… Whereas first and second class citizens have cabins, the third class sleeps in the hold and on the steerage. It’s dirty and overcrowded! I’m afraid, however I want to fulfil my dream…

    D.10:
    The see is calm.(whereas irait bien) On the contrary, I’m anxious and I’m feeling lonely… I miss my family…
    If I made an upward mobility I would send money to Warsaw! They will be proud of their son.

    D.27:
    When I saw the Statue of Liberty it was amazing! Men asked me a lot (sens?)then they said “Welcome to the land of the free!”
    America, I’m here!(here I am!)



    Réponse: Correction/Diary of Immigrant de angel7, postée le 26-09-2013 à 18:55:39 (S | E)
    Hello,
    here are some corrections

    D5: there are a lot of people
    D10: I think you wanted to say sea
    D27: when I saw the statue of liberty I was amazing, I find it was amazing sounds awkward for me. I saw the statue of liberty that's why I was amazing
    land of freedom
    Take care

    -------------------
    Modifié par angel7 le 26-09-2013 18:56

    -------------------
    Modifié par angel7 le 27-09-2013 10:34
    I checked it, "land of free" is right




    Réponse: Correction/Diary of Immigrant de happyboy3311, postée le 26-09-2013 à 18:56:54 (S | E)
    Hello gerondif,

    Donc : wish I hope I will manage my life in America / I will walk for two days / I’m excited / Yesterday, I arrived (parce qu'il est arrivé sur le bateau la veille) / the third class sleep / ?

    (Pour "Men asked me a lot", je voulais en fait dire que des hommes lui avaient posé beaucoup de questions)



    Réponse: Correction/Diary of Immigrant de happyboy3311, postée le 26-09-2013 à 19:14:35 (S | E)
    Merci angel7, mais je ne peux pas rajouter de mots, sinon je dépasse la limite que l'on m'a fixée es-tu sûr pour "freedom" ? Dans l'hymne américain, il est dit "the land of the free and the home of the brave!" Merci pour le D.5 et le D.10

    Merci gerondif ! Donc ça donne :

    D.1:
    This is it. It is time for me to leave home. I have been preparing this one-way journey for months. Now, I can see the landscape of Warsaw, my homeland, running and I’m thinking about my family. They may be still crying. I hope that they will be able to join me soon. Besides I hope I will succeed in life in America… The train is stopping…

    D.2:
    I didn’t sleep much. Indeed I left the train station very early. I will for two days.
    I’m looking forward to arriving to the boat! I have saved just enough money to make my journey… I’m excited!

    D.5:
    I’m arrived yesterday! Unfortunately, there is a lot of people… Whereas first and second-class passengers have cabins, the third class sleep in the hold and on the steerage. It’s dirty and overcrowded! I’m afraid however I want to fulfil my dream…

    D.10:
    The sea is calm. On the contrary, I’m anxious and I’m feeling lonely… I miss my family…
    If I made an upward mobility I would send money to Warsaw! They will be proud of their son.

    D.27:
    When I saw the Statue of Liberty it was amazing! Men asked me a lot then they said “Welcome to the land of the free!” (je ne sais pas comment reformuler "men asked me a lot"...)
    America, here I am!




    Réponse: Correction/Diary of Immigrant de happyboy3311, postée le 26-09-2013 à 19:23:17 (S | E)
    Pardon, *I arrived



    Réponse: Correction/Diary of Immigrant de gerondif, postée le 26-09-2013 à 19:30:14 (S | E)
    Bonsoir,

    Dans l'hymne américain, il est dit "the land of the free and the home of the brave!" exact


    D.1:
    This is it. It is time for me to leave home. I have been preparing this one-way journey for months. Now, I can see the landscape of Warsaw, my homeland, running and I’m thinking about my family. They may still be crying. I hope that they will be able to join me soon. Besides I hope I will succeed in life in America… The train is stopping…


    D.2:
    I didn’t sleep much. Indeed I left the train station very early. I will walk for two days.
    I’m looking forward to arriving to the boat! I have saved just enough money to make my journey… I’m excited!


    D.5:
    I’m arrived yesterday! Unfortunately, there is a lot of people on board… Whereas first and second-class passengers have cabins, the third class sleep in the hold and on the steerage. It’s dirty and overcrowded! I’m afraid, however I want to fulfil my dream…


    D.10:
    The sea is calm. On the contrary, I’m anxious and I’m feeling(I feel suffirait) lonely… I miss my family…
    If I made an upward mobility (ça existe ? If I make it in America, I will send, pourquoi exprimer un regret plutôt qu'un espoir ?)I would send money to Warsaw! They will be proud of their son.


    D.27:
    When I saw the Statue of Liberty it was amazing! Men asked me a lot (les hommes m'ont demandé beaucoup ne veut rien dire, the customs officers asked me a lot of questions, ok))then they said “Welcome to the land of the free!” (je ne sais pas comment reformuler "men asked me a lot"...)
    America, here I am!




    Réponse: Correction/Diary of Immigrant de happyboy3311, postée le 26-09-2013 à 19:40:05 (S | E)
    Et voilà avec les dernières corrections

    D.1:
    This is it. It is time for me to leave home. I have been preparing this one-way journey for months. Now, I can see the landscape of Warsaw, my homeland, running and I’m thinking about my family. They may still be crying. I hope that they will be able to join me soon. Besides I wish I could succeed in life in America… The train is stopping…

    D.2:
    I didn’t sleep much. Indeed I left the train station very early. I will walk for two days.
    I’m looking forward to arriving to the boat! I have saved just enough money to make my journey… I’m excited!

    D.5:
    I arrived yesterday! Unfortunately, there are a lot of people on board… Whereas first and second-class passengers have cabins, the third class sleep in the hold and on the steerage. It’s dirty and overcrowded! I’m afraid however I want to fulfil my dream…

    D.10:
    The sea is calm. On the contrary, I’m anxious and I’m feel lonely… I miss my family…
    If I make it in America, I will send money to Warsaw! They will be proud of their son.

    D.27:
    When I saw the Statue of Liberty it was amazing! Men asked me a lot of questions then they said “Welcome to the land of the free!”
    America, here I am!



    Réponse: Correction/Diary of Immigrant de happyboy3311, postée le 26-09-2013 à 19:49:48 (S | E)
    Merci beaucoup !
    Bonne soirée à vous !



    Réponse: Correction/Diary of Immigrant de gerondif, postée le 26-09-2013 à 21:57:39 (S | E)
    Hello,
    I’m feel lonely !!



    Réponse: Correction/Diary of Immigrant de happyboy3311, postée le 26-09-2013 à 22:12:18 (S | E)
    Ce serait "I feel lonely" au lieu de "I'm feeling" ? Mais, s'il veut dire qu'il se sent seul, pourquoi il n'y a pas de "am" s'il vous plait ?



    Réponse: Correction/Diary of Immigrant de gerondif, postée le 26-09-2013 à 22:21:52 (S | E)
    Well,
    The sea is calm. On the contrary, I’m anxious and I’m feeling(I feel suffirait) lonely… I miss my family…

    Bien, sur un verbe de sentiment, le présent simple pourrait suffire, pas la peine de dire: je suis en train de me sentir seul. Vous dites bien: I miss my family et non pas I am missing my family, c'est un peu pareil.

    il serait bien d'utiliser although, bien que:
    Although the sea is calm, I can't help being/feeling .....anxious,( pourquoi pas mais il peut aussi signifier "très désireux de") nervous/ ill-at ease / insecure /frightened/. Moreover, I feel lonely and I miss my family.




    Réponse: Correction/Diary of Immigrant de happyboy3311, postée le 26-09-2013 à 22:28:45 (S | E)
    Ah d'accord, merci beaucoup




    [POSTER UNE NOUVELLE REPONSE] [Suivre ce sujet]


    Cours gratuits > Forum > Forum anglais: Questions sur l'anglais

    Partager : Facebook / Twitter / ... 


    > INDISPENSABLES : TESTEZ VOTRE NIVEAU | GUIDE DE TRAVAIL | NOS MEILLEURES FICHES | Les fiches les plus populaires | Une leçon par email par semaine | Aide/Contact

    > COURS ET EXERCICES : Abréviations | Accords | Adjectifs | Adverbes | Alphabet | Animaux | Argent | Argot | Articles | Audio | Auxiliaires | Chanson | Communication | Comparatifs/Superlatifs | Composés | Conditionnel | Confusions | Conjonctions | Connecteurs | Contes | Contraires | Corps | Couleurs | Courrier | Cours | Dates | Dialogues | Dictées | Décrire | Démonstratifs | Ecole | Etre | Exclamations | Famille | Faux amis | Français Langue Etrangère / Langue Seconde |Films | Formation | Futur | Fêtes | Genre | Goûts | Grammaire | Grands débutants | Guide | Géographie | Heure | Homonymes | Impersonnel | Infinitif | Internet | Inversion | Jeux | Journaux | Lettre manquante | Littérature | Magasin | Maison | Majuscules | Maladies | Mots | Mouvement | Musique | Mélanges | Méthodologie | Métiers | Météo | Nature | Nombres | Noms | Nourriture | Négations | Opinion | Ordres | Orthographe | Participes | Particules | Passif | Passé | Pays | Pluriel | Politesse | Ponctuation | Possession | Poèmes | Pronominaux | Pronoms | Prononciation | Proverbes | Prépositions | Présent | Présenter | Quantité | Question | Relatives | Sports | Style direct | Subjonctif | Subordonnées | Synonymes | Temps | Tests de niveau | Tous/Tout | Traductions | Travail | Téléphone | Vidéo | Vie quotidienne | Villes | Voitures | Voyages | Vêtements

    > NOS AUTRES SITES GRATUITS : Cours mathématiques | Cours d'espagnol | Cours d'allemand | Cours de français | Cours de maths | Outils utiles | Bac d'anglais | Learn French | Learn English | Créez des exercices

    > INFORMATIONS : Copyright - En savoir plus, Aide, Contactez-nous [Conditions d'utilisation] [Conseils de sécurité] [Plan du site] Reproductions et traductions interdites sur tout support (voir conditions) | Contenu des sites déposé chaque semaine chez un huissier de justice | Mentions légales / Vie privée / Cookies.
    | Cours et exercices de français 100% gratuits, hors abonnement internet auprès d'un fournisseur d'accès.