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    Oral d'anglais/Correction

    Cours gratuits > Forum > Forum anglais: Questions sur l'anglais || En bas

    [POSTER UNE NOUVELLE REPONSE] [Suivre ce sujet]


    Oral d'anglais/Correction
    Message de chloetranchant posté le 06-02-2014 à 19:09:53 (S | E | F)
    Hello everybody!
    I have an oral exam in a few weeks and I would like to know if I made mistakes in my oral presentation. It would be great if someone could correct my script.
    Thank you very much to spend time for me.

    This is my script:
    The notion I'm going to deal with is myths and heroes. To begin, I would like to give a definition of myths. Myths can be amplified representations, deformed by collective imaginary. It also can be spraded out belief groundless or legendary stories. I would like to illustrate the first definition of this notion through the theme of segregation heroes. We may wonder how common person can become myth or heroe. In order to answer this question, I will follow a framework which is a 19-year old single mother's quotation quoted by the Democratic Party and which is today famous : « Rosa sat so Martin could walk ; Martin walked so Obama could run ; Obama ran, so we could fly ».

    So, to start I would like to talk about Rosa Parks and tell her story. She is the starting point of the big movement which fought against segregation in the United States of America. In 1955, Rosa Parks refused to give up her seat to a white man in a city bus in Montgomery. At that time, segregation was at its heigts, so Blacks had to respect Jim Crow Laws, which means that they were not allowed to mix with whites in public spaces and were sent to seperate schools. They were also required to sit at the back of city buses and give up their seats to white riders if the front seats filled up. For the crime of refusing vacate her seat, Rosa Parks was arrested. She was not the fisrt arrested for resisting segregation of public transportations but it was her action that became the catalyst in a movement that had already been gaining steam. That's how, on a december evening in Montgomery Alabama, a woman became an american hero.
    Few years later, the Montgommery bus boycott in support of Rosa Parks brought a new powerful voice to light : Reverend Martin Luther King Junior who come to the forefront as the head of the Civil Rights Movement. His skillful language and dynamic persona became the new image of a movement dedicated to change and equality with paceful means. He organized pacefull protest marches against segregation, fought for Black right vote and mostly for any equality. Only a decade-fighting later, President Johnson signed the « Civil Rights act » and « voting rights act ». They removed institutionalized descrimination based on race. After the well known « I have a Dream » speech, where he hopes that his child will not be juged in fonction of their skin color, Martin Luther King was awarded the Nobel Peace Price.
    In 2008, during the presidencial elections, Rosa Parks and Martin Luther King acts took all its meaning. For the first time in United States history, the elected president is black. This is a radical progress and a consecration for the American Black Community. Those 50-years fighting for equality were not useless. Barack Obama came to power in a state which denied decades ago people of his skin color. Martin Luther King was Barack Obama's model. This election was very symbolic. A symbol which means that segregation was over. Only with his position, Barack Obama became the new American heroe. And 45 years after the speech, King's dream came true.

    To conclude, I could say that everybody could become myth or heroe. That three people I introduced was just common people before they decided to stood for their ideals. Actions made myths or heroes. And people have to believe and be based on myths or heroes in order to give themselves bravery and hop to fight for them rights. The harder the fight, the greater the victory.

    -------------------
    Modifié par lucile83 le 06-02-2014 22:56


    Réponse: Oral d'anglais/Correction de here4u, postée le 07-02-2014 à 11:49:20 (S | E)
    Hello,

    The notion I'm going to deal with is myths and heroes. To begin with, I would like to give a definition of myths. Myths can be amplified representations, deformed by collective imaginary imagination. It also can be spraded out belief groundless or legendary stories. doesn't make sense!I would like to illustrate the first definition of this notion through the theme of segregation heroesa few heroes in the fight against segregation. We may wonder how common personS can become mythS or heroeS. In order to answer this question, I will follow a framework which is that of a 19-year old single mother's quotation statement? declaration? sentence? [to avoid 'quotation quoted'!] quoted by the Democratic Party and which is today famous today : « Rosa sat so Martin could walk ; Martin walked so Obama could run ; Obama ran, so we could fly ».

    So, to start I would like to I will first talk about Rosa Parks and tell her story. She is the starting point of the big movement which fought against segregation in the United States of America. In 1955, Rosa Parks refused to give up her seat to a white man in a city bus in Montgomery. At that time, segregation was at its heigHts, so Blacks had to respect the Jim Crow Laws, which means that they were not allowed to mix with wWhites in public spaces places and were sent to sepArate schools, swimming-pools, restaurants, drinking fountains, etc.. They were also required to sit at the back of city buses and give up their seats to white riders if the front seats had filled up. For the crime of refusing vacate to give up her seat, Rosa Parks was arrested. She was not the fisrt first person arrested for resisting segregation of in public transportation but it was her action that became the catalyst in a movement that had already been gaining steam. That's how, on a dDecember evening in Montgomery, Alabama, a woman became an aAmerican hero.

    -------------------
    Modifié par lucile83 le 07-02-2014 17:29



    Réponse: Oral d'anglais/Correction de here4u, postée le 07-02-2014 à 11:57:55 (S | E)
    Hi !

    This is only the first part of my second draft ... As a matter of fact, your text is much too long,(to fit the frame of corrections) and I hadn't realized that when I was correcting the beginning, I was deleting the end, because the number of maximum letters had been reached ! Of course, I hadn't saved my work ! Stupid me !
    That's why I cut your good text in halves ... Don't worry, I'll be back to your essay, doing the second part again as soon as I have a little rest from my daily routine ! meetings and classes ...
    You did a good work ! Go on with it ! (if you could, by then, explain the sentence I couldn't get, that would be great !)
    Take care.
    here4u



    Réponse: Oral d'anglais/Correction de here4u, postée le 07-02-2014 à 12:35:58 (S | E)
    A few Few years later, the Montgomery bus boycott in support of Rosa Parks brought a new powerful voice to light : Reverend Martin Luther King Junior who come came to the forefront as the head of the Civil Rights Movement. His skillful language and dynamic persona became the new image of a movement dedicated to necessarychangeS and equality with pacefulpeaceful means. He organized pacefullpacific or non-violent protest marches against segregation, fought for Black right votethe Blacks'right to vote and mostly for any equality in every field. Only a decade-of fighting later, President Johnson signed the « Civil Rights aAct » and « voting rights aAct ». They removedabolished or forbade institutionalized descrimination based on race. After the well known « I have a Dream » speech, where he hopesd that his fourchildren will not be jugedjudged in fonction ofby the colour of their skin their skin color, Martin Luther King was awarded the Nobel Peace Price.
    In 2008, during the presidenctial elections, Rosa Parks and Martin Luther King actionss took all itstheir meanings. For the first time in United States historythe History of the Uunited States, the elected president iswas black. This is a radical progress and a consecration for the American Black Community. Those 50-years of fightsfighting for equality were not useless. Barack Obama came to power as one of the most important men in the worldin a statecountry which decades before had denied existence to thedenied decades ago people of his skin color. Martin Luther King was Barack Obama's model. This election was very symbolic. A symbol which means that segregation was overon its way out, slowly ! alas, it's not over .... Only with his positionBecoming President, Barack Obama became the new American heroe. AndThus, 45 years after thehis famous speech speech, King's dream came true.

    To conclude, I could say that everybody could become a myth or a heroe. ThatThose three people I introduced waswhoe actions I developed were just common people before they decided to stoodGRRRRrrrr! stand up for their ideals. Actions made myths or heroes. And people have to believe and be based? on myths or heroes in order to give themselves bravery and thehopE to fight for themtheir rights. The harder the fight, the greater the victory.!



    Réponse: Oral d'anglais/Correction de chloetranchant, postée le 09-02-2014 à 13:38:01 (S | E)
    Thank you very much for the work you've done!
    I don't really know how to explain clearly the sentence that you did not understand. I meant that myths could be belief without reel source, we don't have evidence that they are reel. I will take an example: one day a man told an incredible story that he saw the Loch Ness monster and this story travelled all around the world. However, this story is not founded because maybe the man did not see anything. (I took a random example, I don't know anything about this subject so maybe it is not a relevant example but it is just for the story principle, the monster).




    Réponse: Oral d'anglais/Correction de here4u, postée le 09-02-2014 à 20:35:06 (S | E)
    I see !

    Myths can also be groundless beliefs or legends spread out by mystifiers.
    Hope you'll be able to convey what you mean in the oral part ! Good luck !




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