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    Aide/Myth and Heroes

    Cours gratuits > Forum > Forum anglais: Questions sur l'anglais || En bas

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    Aide/Myth and Heroes
    Message de terraf posté le 30-10-2014 à 16:33:45 (S | E | F)

    Bonjour, le bac arrive petit à petit et mon professeur d'anglais nous a demandé de travailler la notion Myths & Heroes. Pouvez-vou m'aider à corriger mon texte, et me dire si ma problématique est bonne ?

    Introduction

    First of all, we have to define these two concepts.  The word myth derives from the ancient Greek word mythos which means legend, but nowadays we use this word much more loosely, referring to a traditional story concerning the history of a people, a natural or social phenomenon. The word hero also has Greek roots and meant “demi-god”, a person with superhuman abilities accomplishing extraordinary achievements. The definition has evolved and has been so used and misused that it has become more or less meaningless. It used to be a great word, while today it's being used to speak about every soldier or civil servant ... It has lost its meaning.Everybody can get called a hero. By analyzing the term, myth and hero, we will try to answer the following question: How Role Models Can Influence Lives?

    The Positives of Role Models

    When role models fulfill their “role” the way they're supposed to, they can provide us with a range of benefits. For instance they can provide a model for living and for getting to the point we want to be at in our lives. For instance if we have always wanted to be an American Footballer, then seeing someone who is successfully living that dream, like Vince Papale (who never thought he could become a professional player at 30yo), not only gives us a concrete example to aspire to and to show that it can be done, but it also gives us a template for how to go about achieving that. We can see how they approached their aim, and then we can see if taking a similar approach works for us. This also gives us the motivation to keep going, and hopefully when you see that person perform you will be inspired anew, and you will be motivated to do your own training.

    At the same time a role model can be a comfort and almost a surrogate parent in our own minds. For someone who has a true idol, seeking out their words of advice and their shared secrets is a great way to get guidance and advice in your own life. Finally, having a role model can also make life more exciting in some ways. It's great to have a 'favorite' and watching a sports game is made very different if one of your heroes is on the pitch/court and this can help you to get more involved in what's going on in the game.

    How a Role Model Can Be a Bad Thing

    When a role model becomes a bad thing is of course when that idolization becomes more of an obsession and your affections become blind. If we have a role model that we really aspire to be like and they change their clothes or haircut, then it's harmless and gratifying to borrow some of that style advice yourself. Similarly if your favorite artist/writer/philosopher should influence your own work, then again this is normal and gives you more of a solid foundation to build upon.

    The problem then though comes when we become so obsessed with that role model that you end up losing your own sense of self and your own identity. You don't want to be the new Justin Bieber, you want to be the first you. And if you are blatantly following every fashion decision that the singer makes then you are in fact being nothing like him – because the trait that you aspire to be like is the bravery to try new things and to createfashion trends, not to copy someone else's. Likewise there will come a time when your role model lets you down. This is true whether it's someone in the media or it's your own parents.

    Finally we need to be careful not to compare ourselves unfavorably to our heroes. While having a hero should give us confidence and motivation, there are times when it can have the opposite effect as we find ourselves asking why we haven't yet achieved the same success, or why we aren't as famous. There are a couple of things to remember. The first is that our role models weren't born successful. In fact they probably went through a time very similar to you and if you were to look at how they started out then you'd realize that they might too have one day thought they'd never make it. Look at Steve Jobs, Vince Papale or Oprah Winfrey, they all started from the bottom, and with perseverance, they achieved to do what they always wanted to do!

    Merci beaucoup !

     

    -------------------
    Modifié par lucile83 le 31-10-2014 21:59
    Mise en forme standard.



    Réponse: Aide/Myth and Heroes de tdu6300, postée le 31-10-2014 à 19:24:13 (S | E)
    Bonjour Terraf
    Le texte étant trop long, je l'ai coupé en 2.
    Ceci est la partie 1 sur 2

    Bleu = Erreur ou à revoir
    Vert = Mes propositions
    X ou XXX = Mot manquant ou pnctuation manquante.
    (Numéro) = Revoi en pied de page

    Introduction

    First of all, we have to define these two concepts. The word myth derives from the ancient Greek word mythos which means legend, but nowadays we use this word much more loosely, referring to a traditional story concerning the history of a people, a natural or social phenomenon. The word hero also has Greek roots and meant(1)demi-god(2), a person with superhuman abilities accomplishing extraordinary achievements. The definition has evolved and has been so used and misused that it has become more or less meaningless. It used to be a great word, while today it's being used to speak about every soldier or civil servant ...(3) It has lost its meaning. Everybody can get called a hero.

    By analyzing the term, myth and hero, we will try to answer the following question: How Role Models Can Influence Lives?

    The Positives XXX of Role Models
    When role models fulfill their “role” the way they're supposed to, they can provide us with a range of benefits. For instance they can provide a model for living and for getting to the point we want to be at in our lives. For instance if we have always wanted to be an American(4) Footballer, then seeing someone who is successfully living that dream, like Vince Papale (who never thought he could become a professional player at 30yo), not only gives us a concrete example to aspire to and to show that it can be done, but it also gives us a template for how to go about achieving that. We can see how they approached their aim(5), and then we can see if taking a similar approach works for us. This also gives us the motivation to keep going, and hopefully when you(6) see that person perform you(6) will be inspired anew, and you(6) will be motivated to do your own training.

    At the same time a role model can be a comfort and almost a surrogate parent in our own minds.(7) For someone who has a true idol, seeking out their words of advice and their shared secrets is a great way to get guidance and advice in your(8) own life.

    Finally, having a role model can also make life more exciting in some ways. It's great to have a 'favorite' and watching a sports game is made very different if one of your(6) heroes is on the pitch/court and this can help you(6) to get more involved in what's going on in the game.

    (1) Conjugaison. Tout le reste est au présent. Pourquoi changer ?
    (2) Orthographe : Pas de trait d’union.
    (3) Ponctuation. Pas d’espace entre la dernière lettre et les trois petits points
    (4) Un footballer n’est dit « Americain » qu’à partir du moment où on en parle depuis un autre pays. Je ne sais pas si c’est justifié ici, mais ça se discute. A vous de voir si vous voulez le maintenir en l’état ou le changer en footballer, ce qui pourrait effectivement amener une certaine confusion avec le football (appelation de ce côté de l’Atlantique), qui se dit « soccer » aux USA.
    (5) Choisissez un synonyme. Je ne pense pas que vous puissiez utiliser « aim » dans ce contexte.
    (6) Ici on arrive sur un problème récurrent de votre texte. Utilisez soit « we » soit « you », mais pas les deux à la fois.
    (7) A mon avis, il n’y a qu’un esprit.
    (8) Problème similaire au (6) mais ici vous commencez la phrase par « For someone » ce qui rend ce « your » malvenu.



    Réponse: Aide/Myth and Heroes de tdu6300, postée le 31-10-2014 à 19:38:52 (S | E)
    Bonjour Terraf
    Le texte étant trop long, je l'ai coupé en 2.
    Ceci est la partie 2 sur 2

    Bleu = Erreur ou à revoir
    Vert = Mes propositions
    X ou XXX = Mot manquant ou pnctuation manquante.
    (Numéro) = Revoi en pied de page


    How a Role Model Can Be a Bad Thing

    When a role model becomes a bad thing is of course when that idolization becomes more of an obsession and your(6) affections become blind.(9) If we have a role model that we really aspire to be like and they(10) change their(10) clothes or haircut, then it's harmless and gratifying to borrow some of that style advice yourself.(11) Similarly if your favorite artist/writer/philosopher should influence your own work, then again this is normal and gives you more of a solid foundation to build upon.

    The problem then though comes when we become so obsessed with that role model that you(6) end up losing your(6) own sense of self and your(6) own identity. You(6) don't want to be the new Justin Bieber, you(6) want to be the first you.(12) And if you(6) are blatantly following every fashion decision that the singer makes(13) then you(6) are in fact being nothing like him – because the trait that you(6) aspire to be like is the bravery to try new things and to create fashion trends, not to copy someone else's.

    Likewise there will come a time when your(6) role model lets you(6) down. This is true whether it's someone in the media or it's your(6) own parents.

    Finally we need to be careful not to compare ourselves unfavorably to our heroes. While having a hero should give us confidence and motivation, there are times when it can have the opposite effect as we find ourselves asking why we haven't yet achieved the same success, or why we aren't as famous.

    There are a couple of things to remember. The first is that our role models weren't born successful. In fact they probably went through a time very similar to you(6) and if you(6) were to look at how they started out then you'd(6) realize that they might too have one day thought they'd never make it. Look at Steve Jobs, Vince Papale or Oprah Winfrey, they all started from the bottom, and with perseverance, they achieved to do(14) what they always wanted to do!

    (9) Soit j’ai raté quelque chose, soit ce n’est pas clair.
    (10) Problème similaire au (6) mais ici vous parlez de « a role model » qui est au singulier, tandis qu’ensuite ça passe au pluriel.
    (11) Euh !!! Pas clair ou j’ai encoe raté quelque chose ?
    (12) Alors là je suis perdu dans les méandres de la psychologie, entre le moi, le surmoi, le je et l’autre.
    (13) Ca a l’air correct, même si j’aurais plutôt choisi « takes »
    (14) Je ne suis pas sûr que ce soit correct. En ce qui me concerne, je me passerais de ce « to do »

    Globalement un très bon devoir.
    En espérant vous être utile.
    Cordialement



    Réponse: Aide/Myth and Heroes de terraf, postée le 01-11-2014 à 12:10:41 (S | E)
    Bonjour et merci beaucoup d'avoir pris du temps pour me répondre !

    C'est vrai que j'étais à la base parti avec le "you", et j'ai voulu ensuite le changer par le "we", qui je trouve permet de plus impliquer le correcteur.
    J'utilise le terme "American footballer" car nous avons étudié la vie de Vince Papale, qui était justement désigné par cette expression. Je ne pense donc pas la changer.

    Enfin, voici ma version corrigée :

    Introduction

    First of all, we have to define these two concepts. The word myth derives from the ancient Greek word mythos which means legend, but nowadays we use this word much more loosely, referring to a traditional story concerning the history of a people, a natural or social phenomenon. The word hero also has Greek roots and mean “demi god”, a person with superhuman abilities accomplishing extraordinary achievements. The definition has evolved and has been so used and misused that it has become more or less meaningless. It used to be a great word, while today it's being used to speak about every soldier or civil servant... It has lost its meaning. Everybody can get called a hero.

    By analyzing the term, myth and hero, we will try to answer the following question: How Role Models Can Influence Lives?

    The Positives aspects of Role Models

    When role models fulfill their “role” the way they're supposed to, they can provide us with a range of benefits. For instance they can provide a model for living and for getting to the point we want to be at in our lives. For instance if we have always wanted to be an American(4) Footballer, then seeing someone who is successfully living that dream, like Vince Papale (who never thought he could become a professional player at 30yo), not only gives us a concrete example to aspire to and to show that it can be done, but it also gives us a template for how to go about achieving that. We can see how they approached their goal(5), and then we can see if taking a similar approach works for us. This also gives us the motivation to keep going, and hopefully when we see that person perform we will be inspired anew, and we will be motivated to do your own training.

    At the same time a role model can be a comfort and almost a surrogate parent in our own mind. For someone who has a true idol, seeking out their words of advice and their shared secrets is a great way to get guidance and advice in his own life.

    Finally, having a role model can also make life more exciting in some ways. It's great to have a 'favorite' and watching a sports game is made very different if one of our heroes is on the pitch/court and this can help us to get more involved in what's going on in the game.

    How a Role Model Can Be a Bad Thing

    When a role model becomes a bad thing is of course when that idolization becomes more of an obsession and we become blind.(9) If we have a role model that we really aspire to be like and he/she(10) change his/her clothes or haircut, then it's harmless and gratifying to borrow some of that style. Similarly if your favorite artist/writer/philosopher should influence your own work, then again this is normal and gives you more of a solid foundation to build upon.

    The problem then though comes when we become so obsessed with that role model that we end up losing our own sense of self and our own identity. We don't want to be the new Justin Bieber, we want to be the one we really are.(12) And if we are blatantly following every fashion decision that the singer takes then we are in fact being nothing like him – because the trait that we aspire to be like is the bravery to try new things and to create fashion trends, not to copy someone else's.

    Likewise there will come a time when our role model lets us down. This is true whether it's someone in the media or it's our own parents.

    Finally we need to be careful not to compare ourselves unfavorably to our heroes. While having a hero should give us confidence and motivation, there are times when it can have the opposite effect as we find ourselves asking why we haven't yet achieved the same success, or why we aren't as famous.

    There are a couple of things to remember. The first is that our role models weren't born successful. In fact they probably went through a time very similar to us and if we were to look at how they started out then we would realize that they might too have one day thought they'd never make it. Look at Steve Jobs, Vince Papale or Oprah Winfrey, they all started from the bottom, and with perseverance, they achieved what they always wanted to do!

    J'espère que tout est maintenant quasiment bon !



    Réponse: Aide/Myth and Heroes de tdu6300, postée le 01-11-2014 à 16:33:31 (S | E)
    Introduction

    First of all, we have to define these two concepts. The word myth derives from the ancient Greek word mythos which means legend, but nowadays we use this word much more loosely, referring to a traditional story concerning the history of a people(1), a natural or social phenomenon. The word hero also has Greek roots and mean “demi god(2), a person with superhuman abilities accomplishing extraordinary achievements. The definition has evolved and has been so used and misused that it has become more or less meaningless. It used to be a great word, while today it's being used to speak about every soldier or civil servant... It has lost its meaning. Everybody can get called a hero.

    By analyzing the term, myth and hero, we will try to answer the following question: How Role Models Can Influence Lives?

    The Positives aspects(3) of Role Models

    When role models fulfill their “role” the way they're supposed to, they can provide us with a range of benefits. For instance they can provide a model for living and for getting to the point we want to be at in our lives. For instance if we have always wanted to be an American Footballer, then seeing someone who is successfully living that dream, like Vince Papale (who never thought he could become a professional player at 30yo), not only gives us a concrete example to aspire to and to show that it can be done, but it also gives us a template for how to go about achieving that. We can see how they approached their goal, and then we can see if taking a similar approach works for us. This also gives us the motivation to keep going, and hopefully when we see that person perform we will be inspired anew, and we will be motivated to do your(4) own training.

    At the same time a role model can be a comfort and almost a surrogate parent in our own mind. For someone who has a true idol, seeking out their words of advice and their shared secrets is a great way to get guidance and advice in his(5) own life.

    Finally, having a role model can also make life more exciting in some ways. It's great to have a 'favorite' and watching a sports game is made very different if one of our heroes is on the pitch/court and this can help us to get more involved in what's going on in the game.

    How a Role Model Can Be a Bad Thing

    When a role model becomes a bad thing is of course when that idolization becomes more of an obsession and we become blind. If we have a role model that we really aspire to be like and he/she change his/her clothes or haircut, then it's harmless and gratifying to borrow some of that style. Similarly if your favorite artist/writer/philosopher should influence your own work, then again this is normal and gives you more of a solid foundation to build upon.

    The problem then though comes when we become so obsessed with that role model that we end up losing our own sense of self and our own identity. We don't want to be the new Justin Bieber, we want to be the one we really are. And if we are blatantly following every fashion decision that the singer takes then we are in fact being nothing like him – because the trait that we aspire to be like is the bravery to try new things and to create fashion trends, not to copy someone else's.

    Likewise there will come a time when our role model lets us down. This is true whether it's someone in the media or it's our own parents.

    Finally we need to be careful not to compare ourselves unfavorably to our heroes. While having a hero should give us confidence and motivation, there are times when it can have the opposite effect as we find ourselves asking why we haven't yet achieved the same success, or why we aren't as famous.

    There are a couple of things to remember. The first is that our role models weren't born successful. In fact they probably went through a time very similar to us(6) and if we were to look at how they started out then we would realize that they might too have one day thought they'd never make it. Look at Steve Jobs, Vince Papale or Oprah Winfrey, they all started from the bottom, and with perseverance, they achieved what they always wanted to do!

    (1) “a people” = un people. “people” = des gens. Votre version est correcte, je voulais juste souligner la nuance et être sûr de la version que vous vouliez.
    (2) demigod. Pas d’espace pas de tiret.
    (3) Un seul mot porte le pluriel
    (4) « our » Il s’agit ici d’un reste de votre hésitation entre « you » et « we »
    (5) « our » Idem (4)
    (6) « ours » Idem (4)

    Bravo. Très bel effort sur un texte déjà bien écrit au départ.
    S'il reste des erreurs, je n’en vois plus, sauf celles-ci-dessus bien sûr.
    J'ai pris le parti de vous "donner" les somlutions dans les renvois, car il est clair que vous avez compris.
    En espérant vous être utile.
    Cordialemen



    Réponse: Aide/Myth and Heroes de terraf, postée le 01-11-2014 à 16:39:07 (S | E)
    Merci pour tout, vraiment ! Je n'ai plus qu'à m'entrainer à l'oral maintenant




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