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    Correction/Mythes et héros

    Cours gratuits > Forum > Forum anglais: Questions sur l'anglais || En bas

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    Correction/Mythes et héros
    Message de hprince posté le 22-11-2014 à 17:36:15 (S | E | F)
    Bonjour à tous
    je suis en T ES et je dois parler de la notion Mythes et héros. J'ai fait un petit résumé de la notion où je parle de Steve Jobs, et je voudrais que vous le corrigiez si cela est possible.
    Merci d'avance.

    I'll talk about the concept myth and hero but first I'll define. Myth is a legendary story featuring imaginary characters including several lines correspond to a human ideal. Hero is a fictional character or a real person who performed noble acts of courage and shows he protects an ideology or people facing danger. Some person who succeeded in his life, who bring new ideas revolutionary become icons and a model of inspiration and sometimes even of imitation.One of the latter type of person is Steve Jobs we will see why it has become a symbol of success and a model for imitation.

    Steve Jobs was born in 1955 in San Francisco in the United States is adopted at birth by Paul and Clara Jobs. Young Steve grew up in modest circumstances, but is already showing signs of precocity. At the age of 12, he built a frequency counter. At school he befriended Steve Wozniak, are very attracted by the electronics. Steve is surrendering his studies at the university and a few years later he created a company with his friend Wozniak called Apple. In 1976 they released their first computer, Apple I, then, one year later Apple II, which became their first big success. A 23-year-old Steve Jobs wins his first million dollars. In 1984 he launched his first Macintosh and meeting the success we know now. After several years of absence he returned in 1996 and became the CEO of Apple. In 2000 he successfully conquered for a new market, the music market with its iPod. In 2007 he launched a new smartphone that has revolutionized the world of new technology. Despite his career success and in 2004 he announced that he has cancer and in 2011 it quite this world leaving a large trail behind him.


    This person has not only facilitated the daily life of everyone, but also revolutionize the technological world with its innovations. His career has become a model for young people as not having completed it created a company that in 2012 became the most expensive company in the world. For me he is a good model of inspiration and admiration.

    -------------------
    Modifié par lucile83 le 22-11-2014 17:41


    Réponse: Correction/Mythes et héros de laure95, postée le 23-11-2014 à 18:25:56 (S | E)
    bonsoir,
    Voici quelques points à reprendre.
    I'll talk about the concept (of)myth and hero but first I'll define (these two terms). Myth is a legendary story featuring imaginary characters including several lines correspond (pas la bonne forme du verbe) to a human ideal. Hero is a fictional character or a real person who performed (pourquoi mettre le verbe au passé?)noble acts of courage and shows he protects an ideology or people facing danger. Some (a) person who succeeded (conjugaison) in his life, who bring new ideas revolutionary become icons ( à mettre au singulier) and a model of inspiration and sometimes even of imitation.One of the latter type of person is Steve Jobs we will see why it (pas le bon pronom: Steve Jobs n'est pas une chose) has become a symbol of success and a model for imitation.

    Steve Jobs was born in 1955 in San Francisco in the United States (mettre un sujet)is (à mettre au passé) adopted (at birth) by Paul and Clara Jobs. Young Steve grew up in modest circumstances, but (sujet?)is (passé) already showing signs of precocity. At the age of 12, he built a frequency counter. At school he befriended Steve Wozniak,(sujet?) are (temps) very attracted by the electronics. Steve is surrendering (temps)his studies at the university and a few years later he created a company with his friend Wozniak called Apple. In 1976 they released their first computer, Apple I, then, one year later Apple II, which became their first big success. A 23-year-old Steve Jobs wins (temps) his first million dollars. In 1984 he launched his first Macintosh and meeting (temps) the success we know now. After several years of absence he returned in 1996 and became the CEO of Apple. In 2000 he successfully conquered for a new market, the music market with its (pas le bon possessif) iPod. In 2007 he launched a new smartphone that has revolutionized the world of new technology. Despite his career success and in 2004 he announced that he has (temps) cancer and in 2011 it quite (pronom + problème de verbe) this world leaving a large trail behind him.


    This person has not only facilitated the daily life of everyone, but also revolutionize (temps) the technological world with its innovations. His career has become a model for young people as not having completed it created a company that in 2012 became the most expensive company in the world. For me he is a good model of inspiration and admiration.





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