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    Correction/aide

    Cours gratuits > Forum > Forum anglais: Questions sur l'anglais || En bas

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    Correction/aide
    Message de karnak posté le 23-11-2014 à 15:33:59 (S | E | F)
    Bonjour à tous,
    dans le contexte des quatre thèmes du bac, nous travaillons depuis le début de l'année en anglais, sur le thème d'échanges et d'espaces.
    Dans ce cadre-ci, nous avons un travail à rendre à l'écrit à rendre en début de semaine. Nous devons montrer en quoi le texte "Reunion in America" s'inscrit dans la notion d'échanges et d'espaces, en insérant si on le souhaite quelques passages... Mon texte fini, j'aimerais s'il vous plait que vous jetiez un coup d'oeil dessus pour m'aider à corriger mes fautes d'orthographe, de grammaire, de sens (des fois, je ne suis pas sûre sûre que cela veuille dire grand chose...) Voici mon texte :

    "Reunion in America", is a short story which belongs to collection of shorts stories "The Third and Final Continent", written by Jhumpa Lahiri in 1999. It's an autobiographical book where he relates his new life with Mala, his wife, in the USA. In that extract, the notion of spaces is (bien??) well present because the narrator lived in different countries : India, England for studies then, America. Moreover, he describes a mishap between two women, one American and the other Indian, which takes place in Massachusetts Avenue. This text can be also linked, to the notion of exchanges. Indeed, the narrator recounts his wife's arrival in the States, who has never travelled outside India. He talks in this way, of Mala's immigration on the American territory, that will make it possible her to discover an other culture, interrogate about her way of thinking and like this, drive her broad-minded.

    Of course, at first, the young lady has truly experienced culture shock. In fact, she hasn't realized that she has not to cover her head constantly unlike Indian women, but she wants to respect that Indian rule.. She seems also to cling to her sari desperately because for her, it is a way to felt at home, it reassures her. We can especially see it, in the line 43-44 : "I don't mind. It does not matter there", where the sari appears like the sign of her Indian culture. There is no question, she does not want to forsake her Indian roots-racine! By the bye, furthermore her sari, she keeps her customs, in wearing typical Indian clothes, in having (en ayant?) a small red circle in forehead and feet tinted with the decorative dye. (je ne savais pas trop comment traduire : "elle ne s'habitue pas non plus à la nourriture américaine, alors j'ai essayé de le faire mais je ne suis pas sûre...) She does not become familiar with either American food..
    So, trough this texte, we better understand the feelings of someone who is rootless of his/her bearings and feels like a stranger, like Mala. Fortunately, we can guess that Mala, with her willpower, will manage to integrate into new way oh life !
    That's all!

    beaucoup pour votre aide future!
    Cordialement.
    Karnak.

    -------------------
    Modifié par lucile83 le 23-11-2014 16:39


    Réponse: Correction/aide de laure95, postée le 23-11-2014 à 18:15:09 (S | E)
    Bonsoir,
    Voici quelques points à reprendre (il y en a peut-être d'autres).
    Reunion in America", is a short story which belongs to (the) collection of shorts (jamais de "s" à un adjectif) stories "The Third and Final Continent", written by Jhumpa Lahiri in 1999. It's an autobiographical book where he relates his new life with Mala, his wife, in the USA. In that extract, the notion of spaces is (bien??) well present because the narrator lived (je mettrais le present perfect) in different countries : India, England for studies then, America. Moreover, he describes a mishap between two women, one American and the other Indian, which takes place in Massachusetts Avenue. This text can be also linked, to the notion of exchanges. Indeed, the narrator recounts his wife's arrival in the States, who has never travelled outside India. He talks in this way, of Mala's immigration on the American territory, that will make it possible (for) her to discover an other culture, interrogate about her way of thinking and like this ?, drive her broad-minded.

    Of course, at first, the young lady has truly experienced (a) culture shock. In fact, she hasn't realized that she has not to cover( pas la bonne forme du verbe)her head constantly unlike Indian women, but she wants to respect that Indian rule.. She seems also to cling to her sari desperately because for her, it is a way to felt (TO + INF) at home, it reassures her. We can especially see it, in the line 43-44 : "I don't mind. It does not matter there", where the sari appears like the sign of her Indian culture. There is no question, she does not want to forsake her Indian roots-racine! By the bye ?, furthermore her sari ?, she keeps her customs, (in) wearing typical Indian clothes, (in) having (en ayant?) a small red circle in (pas la bonne préposition) forehead and feet tinted with the decorative dye. (je ne savais pas trop comment traduire : "elle ne s'habitue pas non plus à la nourriture américaine, alors j'ai essayé de le faire mais je ne suis pas sûre...) She does not become familiar with either American food..
    So, trough this texte (orthographe, we better understand the feelings of someone who is rootless of his/her bearings and feels like a stranger, like Mala. Fortunately, we can guess that Mala, with her willpower, will manage to integrate into new way oh life !
    That's all!



    Réponse: Correction/aide de karnak, postée le 23-11-2014 à 18:52:42 (S | E)
    Je vais essayer de corriger mes erreurs :
    Voici quelques points à reprendre (il y en a peut-être d'autres).

    Reunion in America", is a short story which belongs to (the) collection of short stories "The Third and Final Continent", written by Jhumpa Lahiri in 1999. It's an autobiographical book where he relates his new life with Mala, his wife, in the USA. In that extract, the notion of spaces is well present because the narrator has lived in different countries : India, England for studies then, America. Moreover, he describes a mishap between two women, one American and the other Indian, which takes place in Massachusetts Avenue. This text can be also linked, to the notion of exchanges. Indeed, the narrator recounts his wife's arrival in the States, who has never travelled outside India. He talks in this way, of Mala's immigration on the American territory, that will make it possible (for) her to discover an other culture, interrogate about her way of thinking and (de cette manière?) drive her broad-minded.

    Of course, at first, the young lady has truly experienced (a) culture shock. In fact, she hasn't realized that she has not covered her head constantly unlike Indian women, but she wants to respect that Indian rule.. She seems also to cling to her sari desperately because for her, it is a way to feel at home, it reassures her. We can especially see it, in the line 43-44 : "I don't mind. It does not matter there", where the sari appears like the sign of Indian culture. There is no question, she does not want to forsake her Indian roots! By the bye ?(dailleurs?), she keeps her customs, (in) wearing typical Indian clothes, (in) having a small red circle on forehead and feet tinted with the decorative dye. (je ne savais pas trop comment traduire : "elle ne s'habitue pas non plus à la nourriture américaine, alors j'ai essayé de le faire mais je ne suis pas sûre...) She does not become familiar with American food...
    So, through this text, we better understand the feelings of someone who is rootless of his/her bearings and feels like a stranger, like Mala. Fortunately, we can guess that Mala, with her willpower, will manage to integrate into new way of life !
    That's all!

    Merci infiniment pour votre aide !
    Ps : j'ai encore quelques hésitations notamment pour dire " D'ailleurs"...




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