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    Correction/aéroport

    Cours gratuits > Forum > Forum anglais: Questions sur l'anglais || En bas

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    Correction/aéroport
    Message de redwane0307 posté le 13-12-2014 à 21:45:17 (S | E | F)
    Bonjour,
    J'aimerais savoir si mon texte est correct, s'il vous plait.Merci pour vos réponses.

    Last September, September 15 precisely, I boarded at xxx airport at 10 o’clock and I arrived at the xxx international airport in the xxx at 17 o’clock. I did my travel with the local company, xxx. I made this trip because my company has organized a seminar in this beautiful city for a new important and fundamental project. When I arrived, I was surprised by the beauty and modernity of this airport. The service at our arrived it was perfect. A bus is coming and tried to exit the plane and drive us to the airport. It was very hot, fortunately the airport is fully air-conditioned because it was at least 40 degrees to the outside. I was very happy because at the inside of airport there are many shops with very attractive prices. I waited a long time for customs, about 1:00, because customs man and women control all the bags completely, to avoid any traffic or counterfeiting. Rather, the passage at the checkpoint was very fast because the police are very competent. Waiting for luggage was also difficult because a single machine on the five was on. Go to the downtown is very easy because the airport is well served by numerous buses and hundreds of taxis per hour. I'm quite satisfied by the service offered by this airport even if it is not perfect.

    -------------------
    Modifié par lucile83 le 13-12-2014 22:11


    Réponse: Correction/aéroport de here4u, postée le 14-12-2014 à 12:22:18 (S | E)
    hello !

    I'll try to help !
    blue = wrong
    green = suggestion
    XXX= missing elements

    Last September,XX September 15 precisely, I boarded at xxx airport at 10 o’clock and I arrived at the xxx international airport in the xxx at 17 o’clock.(??? not easy to follow with all the xxx...) I did my travel(a verb would be better) with the local company, xxx. I made this trip because my company has organized a seminar in this beautiful city for a new important and fundamental project. When I arrived, I was surprised by the beauty and modernity of this airport. The service at our arrived it(we want a noun!) was perfect. A bus is coming and tried to exit the plane(the bus was on the plane?) and drive us to the airport. It was very hot, fortunately the airport is fully air-conditioned because it was at least 40 degrees to the outside. I was very happy because at the inside of XX airport there are many shops with very attractive prices. I waited a long time for XXX customs, about 1:00, because customs man and women(vocabulary) control all the bags completely, to avoid any traffic or counterfeiting. Rather,??? (not the riht word) the passage at the checkpoint was very fast because the police are(tps) very competent. Waiting for XXX luggage was also difficult because a single machine (on=2 but change the particle; the five= 3 + noun /was on=1.) Go to the downtown is very easy because the airport is well served by numerous buses and hundreds of taxis per hour. I'm quite satisfied by the service offered by this airport even if it is not perfect.

    The tense of a narration is the past!. Good correction!




    Réponse: Correction/aéroport de violet91, postée le 15-12-2014 à 18:39:09 (S | E)
    Hello,
    As said above , you should use the simple past and perhaps here and there , the past perfect when the project had been conceived before .
    Are you speaking of an airport abroad ? If so , and probably , I expect , you should convert 17 o'clock into 05 o'clock .pm : cf. expressions of time .
    If you went to New York or else , you are right to use 'downtown' for the centre you would use for London and GB .
    Have a nice evening .




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