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    Bac/Myths and Heroes

    Cours gratuits > Forum > Forum anglais: Questions sur l'anglais || En bas

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    Bac/Myths and Heroes
    Message de jeannou15 posté le 01-05-2015 à 12:37:27 (S | E | F)
    Bonjour,
    Voici ma synthèse d'anglais sur la notion "Myths and heroes". Je voudrais avoir votre avis s'il vous plait sur ce que j'ai fait parce que je ne suis pas très convaincu par ma réponse.
    Merci pour votre lecture et réponses

    I am going to talk about the notion Myths and heroes. The myth is a traditional or legendary, usually concerning some being or heroes. The American dream is church by a lot of persons, the poor emigrate to find a job and have a better life. The people went to America to have a better prospect and escape poverty. The people flee their country for economic reasons.
    I will answer the following question the American dream, Myths or reality?
    I have studied this notion with different document: a recording, a song, a cartoon and a web-search.

    The pilgrims are the first immigrants who arrived in Plymouth Rock in November 1620. The pilgrims left England because they were persecuted by the king, for religious reasons. The first winter in Plymouth was dreadful. The Wampanoag's helped them to survive, they taught to plant, hunt and fish. The pilgrims organized three day feast to thank god and the Natives, they celebrated the first Thanksgiving.
    The America is a nation of immigrants, a place where many immigrants went and Ellis Island was the first place of immigration. Ellis Island in New-York harbour opened in 1892 and closed in 1954. 12 million immigrants went through Ellis Island. When the immigrants arrived, they would see New-York and the statue of liberty, which represents freedom, the symbol of the American Dream.
    The immigrants make test for any signs of contagious disease, they were refused. It corresponded to one percent of immigrants, went back to their country.
    The immigrants land their country to escape poverty and for religious reasons. America was seen as a land of wealth, luxury and opportunity. They were determined to succeed thanks to hard work in the railroads fields and factories. They also made steel to build the cities. However, their dream seldom came true and whereas some of them made a lot of money many others had to accept low wages and tough jobs. He pays tribute to the working class who went through Ellis Island and sacrificed their lives to build America.
    The immigration is difficult between Mexico and America because there is a border fence which was built to prevent immigrants from entering America. The immigrants have to cross the desert and then the fence cover one-third of the frontier, it is made of barbed wires and steel blocks. The Mexican dream is difficult because there are camera, motion detector and border patrols, drug enforcement and FBI agents who survive the border. The barrier's supporter is to prevent illegal immigration, stop drug and limit violent. The opponent claim than it damages the environment.

    In conclusion, the American dream is a mix of myth and reality. There are still immigrants who land their country to escape poverty, find work and have a better life.
    Nowadays, the immigration policy is expanding. There are laws to control immigration, for example: the low Mc Carren Walter which the right to return a person if it happens to be terrorist or if he suspects of terrorism.

    -------------------
    Modifié par lucile83 le 01-05-2015 13:07


    Réponse: Bac/Myths and Heroes de gerondif, postée le 02-05-2015 à 14:32:29 (S | E)
    Bonjour,
    erreurs en bleu, corrections en vert
    I am going to talk about the notion Myths and heroes. The myth is a traditional or legendary ***(manque un nom commun), usually concerning some being (bof, une créature?)or heroes. The American dream is church(qu'est-ce que le mot église vient faire là ? utilisé, choisi?) by a lot of persons(au pluriel, on dit people), the poor emigrate to find a job and have a better life. The people went to America to have a better prospect and escape poverty. The people flee their country for economic reasons.
    I will answer the following question: the American dream, Myths or reality?
    I have studied this notion with different document(pluriel): a recording, a song, a cartoon and a web-search.

    The pilgrims are(plutôt au prétérit, 1620 c'est passé) the first immigrants who arrived in Plymouth Rock in November 1620. The pilgrims left England because they were persecuted by the king, for religious reasons. The first winter in Plymouth was dreadful. The Wampanoag's helped them to survive, they taught them to plant, hunt and fish. The pilgrims organized a three-day feast to thank god and the Natives, they celebrated the first Thanksgiving.
    The America (aïe!! on me met the que devant les pays pluriels the USA mais * America, *England) is a nation of immigrants, a place where many immigrants went(à auoi bon répéter la même idée deux fois?) and Ellis Island was the first place of immigration. Ellis Island in New-York harbour opened in 1892 and closed in 1954. 12 million immigrants went through Ellis Island. When the immigrants arrived, they would see New-York and the statue of liberty, which represents freedom, the symbol of the American Dream.
    The immigrants make (prétérit, mauvais verbe, ils ne les fabriquent pas, ils les passent (undergo) les subissent) test for any signs of contagious disease,***** (construction incomplète) they were refused. It corresponded to(à supprimer, maladroit) About one percent of immigrants went back to their country.

    The immigrants land (depuis quand le mot terre, pays (land) signifie-til quitter?) their country to escape poverty and for religious reasons. America was seen as a land of wealth, luxury and opportunity. They were determined to succeed thanks to hard work in the railroads fields and factories. They also made steel to build the cities. However, their dream seldom came true and whereas some of them made a lot of money, many others had to accept low wages and tough jobs. He(de qui parlez-vous??) pays tribute to the working class who went through Ellis Island and sacrificed their lives to build America.

    The immigration is difficult between Mexico and America because there is a border fence which was built to prevent immigrants from entering America. The immigrants have to cross the desert and then the fence which covers one-third of the frontier(frontier ou border???), it is made of barbed wires and steel blocks. The Mexican dream is difficult because there are cameras, motion detectors and border patrols, drug enforcement and FBI agents who survive the border. The barrier's supporter is to prevent illegal immigration, stop drug and limit violent(à inverser. Sens de la phrase?). The opponent(pluriel) claim than it damages the environment.

    In conclusion, the American dream is a mix of myth and reality. There are still immigrants who land their country to escape poverty, find work and have a better life.
    Nowadays, the immigration policy is expanding. There are laws to control immigration, for example: the low Mc Carren Walter law which *** (verbe??)the right to return a person if it happens to be a terrorist or if he suspects(à mettre à la voix passive) of terrorism.



    Réponse: Bac/Myths and Heroes de jeannou15, postée le 02-05-2015 à 17:28:33 (S | E)
    Merci beaucoup d'avoir corrigé ma synthèse
    Voici ce que j'ai corrigé.

    I am going to talk about the notion Myths and heroes. The myth is a traditional or legendary story, usually concerning some event or heroes. The American dream is searched by a lot of people, the poor emigrate to find a job and have a better life. The people went to America to have a better prospect and escape poverty. People flee their country for economic reasons.
    I will answer the following question the American dream, Myths or reality?
    I have studied this notion with different documents: a recording, a song, a cartoon and a web-search.
    The pilgrims were the first immigrants who arrived in Plymouth Rock in November 1620. The pilgrims left England because they were persecuted by the king, for religious reasons. The first winter in Plymouth was dreadful. The Wampanoag's helped them to survive, they taught to plant, hunt and fish. The pilgrims organized a three-day feast to thank god and the Natives, they celebrated the first Thanksgiving.
    America is a nation of immigrants and Ellis Island was the first place of immigration. Ellis Island in New-York harbour opened in 1892 and closed in 1954. 12 million immigrants went through Ellis Island. When the immigrants arrived, they would see New-York and the statue of liberty, which represents freedom, the symbol of the American Dream.
    The immigrants underwent test for find any signs of contagious disease and if they had disease, they were refused. About one percent of immigrants, went back to their country.
    The immigrants left their country to escape poverty and for religious reasons. America was seen as a land of wealth, luxury and opportunity. They were determined to succeed thanks to hard work in the railroads fields and factories. They also made steel to build the cities. However, their dream seldom came true and whereas some of them made a lot of money many others had to accept low wages and tough jobs. Springsteen, the author of song pays tribute to the working class who went through Ellis Island and sacrificed their lives to build America.
    Immigration is difficult between Mexico and America because there is a border fence which was built to prevent immigrants from entering America. The immigrants have to cross the desert and then the fence which covers one-third of the border, it is made of barbed wires and steel blocks. The Mexican dream is difficult because there are camera, motion detector and border patrols, drug enforcement and FBI agents who survive the border. The barrier's supporter is to prevent illegal immigration, stop drug and violent limit. The opponents claim than it damages the environment.
    In conclusion, the American dream is a mix of myth and reality. There are still immigrants who land their country to escape poverty, find work and have a better life.
    Nowadays, the immigration policy is expanding. There are laws to control immigration, for example: the law Mc Carren Walter which has the right to send a person back if it suspected of terrorism.

    -------------------
    Modifié par lucile83 le 02-05-2015 18:33



    Réponse: Bac/Myths and Heroes de gerondif, postée le 02-05-2015 à 17:51:10 (S | E)
    Hello,
    vous laissez certaines erreurs et en créez d'autres.
    erreurs en bleu
    corrections en vert, mots justes.

    I am going to talk about the notion Myths and heroes. The myth is a traditional or legendary story, usually concerning some event or heroes. The American dream is searched(to search, fouiller) by a lot of people, the poor emigrate to find a job and have a better life. The people went to America to have a better prospect and escape poverty. People flee their country for economic reasons.
    I will answer the following question: the American dream, Myths(s à aspprimer) or reality?
    I have studied this notion with different documents: a recording, a song, a cartoon and a web-search.

    The pilgrims were the first immigrants who arrived in Plymouth Rock in November 1620. The pilgrims left England because they were persecuted by the king, for religious reasons. The first winter in Plymouth was dreadful. The Wampanoag's helped them to survive, they taught them to plant, hunt and fish. The pilgrims organized a three-day feast to thank god and the Natives, they celebrated the first Thanksgiving.
    America is a nation of immigrants and Ellis Island was the first place of immigration. Ellis Island in New-York harbour opened in 1892 and closed in 1954. 12 million immigrants went through Ellis Island. When the immigrants arrived, they would see New-York and the statue of liberty, which represents freedom, the symbol of the American Dream.
    The immigrants underwent tests for(mauvais choix pour dire pour + verbe) find any signs of contagious disease and if they had any disease, they were refused. About one percent of immigrants went back to their country.
    The immigrants left their country to escape poverty and for religious reasons. America was seen as a land of wealth, luxury and opportunity. They were determined to succeed thanks to hard work in the railroads fields and factories. They also made steel to build the cities. However, their dream seldom came true and whereas some of them made a lot of money,(virgule pour marquer l'opposition) many others had to accept low wages and tough jobs. Bruce Springsteen, the author of song, the famous rock and roll singer, pays tribute to the working class who went through Ellis Island and sacrificed their lives to build America.(in which song ? Born in the USA or another one ?)

    Immigration is difficult between Mexico and America because there is a border fence which was built to prevent immigrants from entering America. The immigrants have to cross the desert and then the fence which covers one-third of the border, it is made of barbed wires(sans s) and steel blocks. The Mexican dream is difficult because there are cameras(pluriel), motion detectors(pluriel) and border patrols, drug enforcement and FBI agents who survive(ils survivent ou ils surveillent?) the border. The barrier's supporter(sens??) is to prevent illegal immigration, stop drugs and violent limit(ah, dans l'autre sens, limiter la violence!). The opponents claim than it damages the environment.

    In conclusion, the American dream is a mix of myth and reality. There are still immigrants who land(ce verbe ne signifie pas quitter etest faux, to land c'est atterrir pour un avion) their country to escape poverty, find work and have a better life.
    Nowadays, the immigration policy is expanding. There are laws to control immigration, for example: the Mc Carren Walter law which has(verbe donner ici) the right to send a person back if ithe is suspected of terrorism.



    Réponse: Bac/Myths and Heroes de jeannou15, postée le 02-05-2015 à 18:46:28 (S | E)
    Merci beaucoup de m'avoir corrigé.

    I am going to talk about the notion Myths and heroes. The myth is a traditional or legendary story, usually concerning some event or heroes. The American dream is selected by a lot of people, the poor emigrate to find a job and have a better life. People went to America to have a better prospect and escape poverty. People flee their country for economic reasons.
    I will answer the following question the American dream, Myth or reality?
    I have studied this notion with different documents: a recording, a song, a cartoon and a web-search.

    The pilgrims were the first immigrants who arrived in Plymouth Rock in November 1620. The pilgrims left England because they were persecuted by the king, for religious reasons. The first winter in Plymouth was dreadful. The Wampanoag's helped them to survive, they taught them to plant, hunt and fish. The pilgrims organized a three-day feast to thank god and the Natives, they celebrated the first Thanksgiving.
    America is a nation of immigrants and Ellis Island was the first place of immigration. Ellis Island in New-York harbour opened in 1892 and closed in 1954. 12 million immigrants went through Ellis Island. When the immigrants arrived, they would see New-York and the statue of liberty, which represents freedom, the symbol of the American Dream.
    The immigrants underwent test to find any signs of contagious disease and if they had any disease, they were refused. About one percent of immigrants, went back to their country.

    The immigrants left their country to escape poverty and for religious reasons. America was seen as a land of wealth, luxury and opportunity. They were determined to succeed thanks to hard work in the railroads fields and factories. They also made steel to build the cities. However, their dream seldom came true and whereas some of them made a lot of money, many others had to accept low wages and tough jobs. Bruce Springsteen, the famous rock and roll singer, pays tribute to the working class who went through Ellis Island and sacrificed their lives to build America in a "Land of Marvel".(il faut que je parle de l'auteur et que je dise où il est né ? )

    Immigration is difficult between Mexico and America because there is a border fence which was built to prevent immigrants from entering America. The immigrants have to cross the desert and then the fence which covers one-third of the border, it is made of barbed wire and steel blocks. The Mexican dream is difficult because there are cameras, motion detectors and border patrols, drug enforcement and FBI agents who watch the border. The barrier's supporter are to prevent illegal immigrants from entering the US, to stop drugs traffickers and limit violent related to drugs. The opponents claim than it damages the environment.

    In conclusion, the American dream is a mix of myth and reality. There are still immigrants who left their country to escape poverty, find work and have a better life.
    Nowadays, the immigration policy is expanding. There are laws to control immigration, for example: the Mc Carren Walter law which has given the right to send a person back if it(je ne comprends pas ce qu'il faut faire avec "it") he is suspected of terrorism.



    Réponse: Bac/Myths and Heroes de gerondif, postée le 02-05-2015 à 18:56:49 (S | E)
    Hello,
    (il faut que je parle de l'auteur et que je dise où il est né ? ) mais non, c'était un titre de chanson vous avez cité le titre, c'est bon.

    The barrier's supporter are to prevent illegal immigrants from entering the US, to stop drugs traffickers and limit violent related to drugs. ah, j'ai enfin compris.
    The people who are in favour of that barrier want to prevent illegal immigrants from entering the US, stop drug-traffickers, and limit drug-related violence(vous ne différenciez pas l'adjectif et le nom ?)

    the Mc Carren Walter law which has given(gives suffit) the right to send a person back if it(je ne comprends pas ce qu'il faut faire avec "it" eh bien le supprimer, le remplacer par he, ce que vous avez fait) he is suspected of terrorism.



    Réponse: Bac/Myths and Heroes de jeannou15, postée le 02-05-2015 à 19:06:16 (S | E)
    Merci beaucoup de votre aide qui m'a été très précieuse



    Réponse: Bac/Myths and Heroes de postscriptum, postée le 06-05-2015 à 23:19:16 (S | E)
    Bonsoir,
    Je trouve que tu ne parles pas assez des documents auxquels tu fais référence pour faire ton oral.
    Fais attention, ils risquent de t'en tenir rigueur !



    Réponse: Bac/Myths and Heroes de jeannou15, postée le 10-05-2015 à 20:31:43 (S | E)
    Merci pour le conseil !




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