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    Correction/Idée de progrès

    Cours gratuits > Forum > Forum anglais: Questions sur l'anglais || En bas

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    Correction/Idée de progrès
    Message de atom2c posté le 08-11-2015 à 12:07:25 (S | E | F)
    Bonjour à tous
    Voilà, j'ai terminé la première partie de ma synthèse d'anglais. J'aimerais s'il vous plait avoir vos avis, conseils, et surtout dites-moi ce qui ne va pas.
    Merci pour vos réponses!

    Is shaping life in a lab a real breakthrough ?

    Progress is the idea that the world and the society can improve in terms of science, technology, modernization, living condition, etc. Therefore in the 1950's, scientists succeeded the first human organ transplant. Since this date, medical research has really been improved, and today it is possible to shape up life in a lab !
    But, Is shaping life a real breakthrough ?
    Indeed, the first aspect I will consider is that medical progress now enables to cure other people, enables couples to have a baby with the best hereditary traits, but also to clone mammals : so it appears as a huge breakthrough, a groundbreaking idea. However this progress is still debated with those for whom it is harmful and questionnable, because it raises an issue of ethics : Is it allowed to lead such experiments on a living being, or use them for a specific purpose ?

    I. Shaping life : a real breakthrough
    Firstly we can consider that shaping life in a lab is a real breakthrough : for example since 1950, it has been possible to donate a kidney to another person. Organs are transplanted from one body to another one in order to try to save or cure somebody from an illness. But it is currently possible to make other organ transplants like heart tranplants or bone marrow transplants. Thanks to such advances, several lives can be saved, and many diseases can be treated. But that's not all, in 1978 appeared a new medical technics which represents a turning point in science. It has enabled to develop new healing methods. In 1978 Louise Brown was born. She was the world's first test-tube baby thanks to a method called IVF (In Vitro Fertilization) therapy. (This technics consists in hooking up the mother's eggs and the father's sperm to create a combination of precious genetic material. Therefore, Louise's parents had a baby they couldn't have had otherwise : it enabled and permits today to create life!) Consequently the method could be used and developped for different purposes.
    A few years later, this method was used for a very specific purpose. Indeed, Michael Hartmann was born to save his sister Elisabeth who was dying of an incurable disease called Fanconi anemia. Elisabeth needed a bone-marrow transplant, but the doctors needed a perfect genetic match to do it, and that's why the parents used IVF and genetic selection. Therefore, forty embryos were created and only one was selected for his sibling match, and Elisabeth could be treated and saved following the graft. Those children born to save their siblings were named : saviour siblings.
    Afterwards other medical methods could be created. Those ones gave several possibilities to science as the choice of all the hereditary traits of the future baby, the gender, etc. Now it's possible to create the baby you want. This is the concept of designer babies. Children are conceived through genetic manipulation in a lab, to ensure they will create the most successful pre-embryo. The parents pay to obtain as many capacities as possible for their child. They expect their baby to be a prodigious, with the best physical and moral traits in order to be gifted in wery field. Parents can also choose to do a gender selection. Thanks to IVF therapy or PGD (Pre-implantation Genetic Diagnostic), couples have the possiblity to select the « most compatible candidate ». This latter technics first enabled to eliminate some diseases. But that's not all. Scientists are now able to create the perfect genetic replica of a living being. Indeed, in 1996 and after long years of experiences, Dolly the sheep was born. She was the first mammal to be successfully cloned. It was the exact replica of another sheep, with the same genes, and hereditary traits. So that was the result of Reproductive cloning. Besides, scientists apply Therapeutic cloning which consists in substituting damaged cells by healthing cells. Therefore, another sheep named Missy was born. It was a genetically engineered sheep. Missy was created by adding human genes to the genetic make up of the sheep, and thereby a new « breed » of more resistant sheep, was created. Finally we can say that medical advances enabled to developp many methods, so it appeared as a real breakthrough. This methods consist in saving-life ; but other methods also enable to create life. And is it allowed to do such things ? To which extent could it be dangerous ?

    -------------------
    Modifié par lucile83 le 08-11-2015 13:22
    La 2e partie sera postée dans un 2e topic, merci.


    Réponse: Correction/Idée de progrès de atom2c, postée le 08-11-2015 à 17:15:51 (S | E)
    Up !



    Réponse: Correction/Idée de progrès de lucile83, postée le 09-11-2015 à 10:28:17 (S | E)
    Hello
    Erreurs en bleu.
    Is shaping life in a lab a real breakthrough ?

    Progress is the idea that the world and the society can improve in terms of science, technology, modernization, living condition, etc. Therefore in the 1950's, scientists succeeded the first human organ transplant. Since this date, medical research has really been improved, and today it is possible to shape up life in a lab !
    But, Is shaping life a real breakthrough ?
    Indeed, the first aspect I will consider is that medical progress now enables to cure other people, enables couples to have a baby...pluriel with the best hereditary traits, but also to clone mammals : so it appears as a huge breakthrough, a groundbreaking idea. However this progress is still debated with those for whom it is harmful and questionnable, because it raises an issue of ethics : Is it allowed to lead such experiments on a living being, or use them for a specific purpose ?

    I. Shaping life : a real breakthrough
    Firstly we can consider that shaping life in a lab is a real breakthrough : for example since 1950, it has been possible to donate a kidney to another person. Organs are transplanted from one body to another one in order to try to save or cure somebody from an illness. But it is currently possible to make other organ transplants like heart tranplants or bone marrow transplants. Thanks to such advances, several lives can be saved, and many...choisir synonyme pour formes affirmatives diseases can be treated. But that's not all, in 1978 appeared a new medical technics which represents a turning point in science. It has enabled to develop new healing methods. In 1978 Louise Brown was born. She was the world's first test-tube baby thanks to a method called IVF (In Vitro Fertilization) therapy. (This technics consists in hooking up the mother's eggs and the father's sperm to create a combination of precious genetic material. Therefore, Louise's parents had a baby they couldn't have had otherwise : it enabled and permits...2 temps différents? today to create life!) Consequently the method could be used and developped for different ...syn. de varié? purposes.



    Réponse: Correction/Idée de progrès de atom2c, postée le 09-11-2015 à 19:47:02 (S | E)
    Merci beaucoup pour ta réponse lucile,
    J'ai pu mettre baby au pluriel, seulement j'ai chaque fois placé un "s" au mot technics, alors où est l'erreur ?
    De plus, et ayant utilisé several just avant, je ne trouve pas de synonyme à many
    Enfin, il me parait logique de dire "It enabled and permits today to ..." Dans le sens où cela a déjà été utile auparavant, et continue à l'être de nos jours.
    Voilà, merci à tous et bonne soirée !
    N'hésitez pas à me faire remarquer certaines choses si vous le pouvez, et je peux toujours vous envoyer une deuxième partie.



    Réponse: Correction/Idée de progrès de lucile83, postée le 09-11-2015 à 21:25:53 (S | E)
    Hello,

    technics, alors où est l'erreur ? ...le mot juste est 'technique'
    synonyme à many ...a lot of
    "It enabled and permits today to ..." ...le mot today n'a rien à faire ici, il faut le supprimer. Vous parlez du passé.
    Therefore, Louise's parents had a baby they couldn't have had otherwise : it enabled and permitted to create life!

    Je n'ai corrigé que la moitié du texte .




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