Correction/Spaces and ExchangesCours gratuits > Forum > Forum anglais: Questions sur l'anglais || En bas
Message de lebailly posté le 02-01-2016 à 16:44:50 (S | E | F)
j'aurais besoin d'une correction pour ma notion espaces et échanges s'il vous plait.
Merci d'avance pour vos réponses.
I’m going to talk about the notion of Spaces and exchanges. I'm going to use a few documents that deal with spaces and exchanges. This notion deals with the geographical and symbolic areas that all societies occupy and the interactions between men and various societies. Our world is built on the exploration and conquest of new spaces. The various spaces of the world are nowadays more and more connected to each other. Exchanged can appear in many forms: people, trade or media. Immigration is linked to this notion as it implies the motion of legal and illegal people to other countries. Trade, emigration, wars and disasters have influenced the world as we know it today.
What are the reasons of immigration?
First I’m going to explain why people immigrate and in the second time we will see has what the immigrants expect and what they bring to the host countries.
I- We are going to deal with immigration and the fact that immigrants think that life is better on the other side of the elsewhere hoping for a better life and future. Throughout history, people have tried to escape their countries, to flee. Quite a number of reasons. Most of the time, people hope to find a better life elsewhere. They may leave because there are not enough jobs or opportunities, in their countries. They may also want to avoid persecution for political, religious, racial reasons. People are sometime obliged to run away from their countries because there is civil war or revolution. Sometimes it’s a matter of life and death. There are several types of migration:
Economic migration for moving to find work or follow a particular career path. We can make a link between the notion and the picture studied in class. The document shows Chinese immigrants panning for gold in California during the gold rush after 1849. The vast majority of Chinese immigrants were men. They emigrated for economic reasons, there was widespread poverty in China resulting largely from British policy regarding opium.
Political migration for moving to escape political persecution or war. We can make a link between the notion and the picture studied in class. The document is a photo taken on a freeway in San Diego, near the Mexican border. The signs still exist but were first erected in the 1990s when a lot of Mexicans trying to enter the USA illegally would run across the freeway trying to escape from border guards, without looking at the traffic. Many were killed by drivers who could not stop in time. Since then, these ”caution” signs have been used by both pro-immigrant and anti-immigrant groups in their various campaigns on t-shirts, posters…
Both pictures illustrate the belief, held by many who are living in difficult circumstances, that things will be better if they move to a different place.
II- The principal goal of the migration it’s the American dream for this reason there are much more immigrants in the USA than in other country. The American dream is the notion that the American social, economic, and political system makes success possible for every individual. Someone who manages to achieve their version of the American dream is said to be “living the dream”. Many people criticize the idea of the American dream because they say that it is impossible for everyone to be able to fulfill their dreams, there are still inequalities in class, race, religion and ethnicity preventing people from “living the dream”. People dreamt of owning land and establishing a prosperous business and hopes that this would make them happier. But America is not like they think.
The Americans do not want to make enter or integrate the immigrants in their countries. We can make a link between the notion and the cartoon “Is the grass really greener?” studies in class. The title invites those tempted by immigration to think twice before making their move. The man on the left is Uncle Sam, in other words the US government. The two men on the right are Mexicans who were planning to enter the US in search of a job and a better life. The billboards show graphs illustrating the dire state of the US economy. They replace the fence and are intended to play the same role: to deter would-be immigrants. And it seems to work fine if we are to believe the Mexicans’ decision to turn back and forget the “American dream”. Uncle Sam explains why the charts have been put up. He seems confident that they will play a more efficient role in deterring the immigrants than a fence would. The Mexicans have realized that the grass may not be that greener on the other side, which both the landscape and the billboards show.
To conclude most people immigrant in order to escape war, poverty, famine. They have a vision of the countries where they want to go that is not good. Arrived in the receiving country they understand that ultimately it is not the life they hoped and that it is far from resembling at American dream.
Modifié par lucile83 le 02-01-2016 17:13
Réponse: Correction/Spaces and Exchanges de laure95, postée le 02-01-2016 à 18:54:53 (S | E)
très bonne introduction,
- What are the reasons of immigration?: pas la bonne préposition.
- we will see has: ?
- on the other side of the elsewhere: mal formulé.
- Quite a number of reasons: ce n'est pas une phrase.
- there is civil war or revolution: il manque des articles.
- for moving: pour = FOR + BASE VERBALE.
- career path: mal dit.
- The vast majority of Chinese immigrants were men: conjugaison: le sujet est " the vast majority".
- for moving.
- We can make a link between the notion and the picture studied in class: répétition.
II- The principal goal of the migration it’s: pas de reprise de sujet.
- in other country: à mettre au pluriel.
- Someone who manages to achieve their version: possessif au singulier.
- People dreamt: mettre au présent.
- We can make a link between the notion and the cartoon: répétition.
- studies: pas la bonne forme du verbe.
- The two men on the right are Mexicans: pas de"s" à un adjectif.
III- Conclusion: un peu courte, pas d'ouverture.
-To conclude most people immigrant in order to escape war, poverty, famine: où est le verbe conjugué?
Réponse: Correction/Spaces and Exchanges de lebailly, postée le 02-01-2016 à 21:12:47 (S | E)
Merci beaucoup Laure95 pour cette correction
Cours gratuits > Forum > Forum anglais: Questions sur l'anglais