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    Bac/Idea of progress

    Cours gratuits > Forum > Forum anglais: Questions sur l'anglais || En bas

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    Bac/Idea of progress
    Message de mia4 posté le 01-05-2016 à 19:10:24 (S | E | F)
    Bonsoir,
    Je suis en Terminale S et je viens de terminer ma notion "Idea of progress". Pourriez-vous me donner votre avis et me dire ce qui ne va pas ?
    Merci par avance de votre aide.
    Bonne soirée.

    I am going to talk about the notion of Idea of progress. To illustrate the notion of progress, I would like to speak about school (education) and genetically engineered crops. We can wonder one question : How and to what extent progresses can improve our life. To answer this question, I will explain that going to school is a chance for women and that before they did not have this right. Afterwards, I will explain that progress can become dangerous. But i would like to give a definition of progress. A progress is an improvement, a change which enables poeple to live better, to make the world a better place. They appear in every domain.

    On the one hand, education for women is a progress because for a long time women could not go to school. Indeed their parents expected them to get married and have children. That is why, I have chosen an extract from the Freedom Writers Diary which is a non fiction book, published in 1999 and written by the Freedom Writers, a group of California students and their teacher Erin Gruwell. In this excerpt, the narrator, who is about to graduate from high school and go to university, relates his family's background. Their parents were not illiterate but they had to quit school very early. The Mother went up to the sixth grade because women were not expected to get an education but she was compelled to become a good housewife. The narrator's mother was willing to become an accountant but her dream was shattered. Indeed, she did not have the opportunity to fulfil herself, although she had ambition. At this time, women had to stay at home, obey to their parents and bring them children up. Marriage was the norm and a financial security for women. The husband supported her wife financially. Women were compelled to become a good housewife and mother and they were not expected to get an education. Now, women have the same rights than men. It includes the right to vote. Women can be housewives but it is not an obligation. That is why, I think that education for women is a progress because it changes the way of the society to see women.

    On the other hand, progress can be dangerous for humankind. Therefore, I have made up my mind to speak about genetically engineered crops in agriculture. During this year, we have listened a report which is genetically engineered crops in agriculture, a worldwide experiment on people, animals and nature. This report underlines that genetically engineered crops have far-reaching consequences. Indeed, the function of genome is partially unknown and introducing foreign genes is an experiment with unsure outcomes. Moreover, these crops are cultivated outdoors and can contaminate the other cultures which don't use genetic engineering. It is uncontrollable. Crops are also became resistant for some pesticides. That is why genetic engineering giants are compelled to create new pesticides more powerful. These pesticides pollute soils and ground water which are essential for the agriculture. Futhermore, we don't know how these crops affect humans and animals. It can perhaps induce some illnesses.

    That is why, I think that social progress can improve our life such as scientific progress but some of them can destroy life, health. A progress is like a weapon. It can improve life but it can also become the worst thing that humankind has created

    -------------------
    Modifié par lucile83 le 01-05-2016 21:32


    Réponse: Bac/Idea of progress de laure95, postée le 04-05-2016 à 11:24:32 (S | E)
    Bonjour,
    - poeple: orthographe.

    - a group of California (marque de la possession)students
    - The (mettre un possessif à la place de THE)Mother went up to the sixth grade
    - At this (that)time,
    - obey to (enlever TO)their parents
    -Women were compelled to become a good housewife (pluriel)and mother (pluriel)
    - Now, women have the same rights than (pas le bon mot)men.
    - it changes the way of the society to see (pas le bon mot ici)women.

    - we have listened (to)a report
    - Crops are also became (ce n'est oas le participe passé)resistant for some pesticides.
    - That is why (répétition)
    - That is why: conclusion? I think that social progress can improve our life such as scientific progress but some of them can destroy life, health. A progress is like a weapon. It can improve life but it can also become the worst thing that humankind has created



    Réponse: Bac/Idea of progress de here4u, postée le 04-05-2016 à 14:34:56 (S | E)
    hello !

    A few more...

    I am going to talk about the notion of XXX Idea of progress. To illustrate the notion of progress, I would like to speak about school (education) and genetically engineered crops. We can wonder one question : How and to what extent progresses can - If it is a question, what must you do? )improve our life. To answer this question, I will explain that going to school is a chance for women and that before they did not have this right. Afterwards, I will explain that progress can become dangerous. But i would like to give a definition of progress. A progress is an improvement, a change which enables poeple to live better, to make the world a better place. They appear in every domain.

    On the one hand, education for women is a progress because for a long time women could not go to school. Indeed their parents expected them to get married and have children. That is why, I have chosen an extract from the Freedom Writers Diary which is a non fiction book, published in 1999 and written by the Freedom Writers, a group of CaliforniaN students and their teacher Erin Gruwell. In this excerpt, the narrator, who is about to graduate from high school and go to university, relates his family's background. Their parents were not illiterate but they had to quit school very early. The(whose mother?) Mother went up to the sixth grade because women were not expected to get an education but she was compelled to become a good housewife. The narrator's mother was willing to become an accountant but her dream was shattered. Indeed, she did not have the opportunity to fulfil herself, although she had ambition. At this time, women had to stay at home, obey to their parents and bring them ?? children up. Marriage was the norm and a financial security for women. The husband supported her wife financially. Women= plural!) were compelled to become a good housewife(= singular! ) and mother and they were not expected to get an education. Now, women have the same rights than men. It includes the right to vote. Women can be housewives but it is not an obligation. That is why, I think that education for women is a progress because it changes the way of the society to see women.= very clumsy...

    On the other hand, progress can be dangerous for humankind. Therefore??, I have made up my mind to speak about genetically engineered crops in agriculture. During this year, we have listened a report which is(very clumsy!) genetically engineered crops in agriculture, a worldwide experiment on people, animals and nature. This report underlines that genetically engineered crops have far-reaching consequences. Indeed, the function of genome is partially unknown and introducing foreign genes is an experiment with unsure outcomes. Moreover, these crops are cultivated outdoors and can contaminate the other cultures which don't use genetic engineering. It is uncontrollable. Crops are also became resistant for some pesticides. That is why genetic engineering giants are compelled to create new pesticides more powerful. (word order!) These pesticides pollute soils and ground water which are essential for the agriculture. Futhermore, we don't know how these crops affect humans and animals. It can perhaps induce some illnesses.

    That is why, I think that social progress can improve our life such as scientific progress but some of them (very clumsy structure!)can destroy life, health. A progress is like a weapon. It can improve life but it can also become the worst thing that humankind has created



    Réponse: Bac/Idea of progress de mia4, postée le 05-05-2016 à 18:48:02 (S | E)
    Bonjour,
    Je vous remercie de votre aide.
    Bonne journée.

    I am going to talk about the notion of Idea of progress. To illustrate the notion of progress, I would like to speak about school (education) and genetically engineered crops. We can wonder one question : How and to what extent can progresses improve our life ?. To answer this question, I will explain that going to school is a chance, opportunity for women and that before they did not have this right. Afterwards, I will explain that progress can become dangerous. But I would like to give a definition of progress. The progress is an improvement, a change which enables people to live better, to make the world a better place. Progresses appear in every domain.

    On the one hand, education for women is a progress because for a long time women could not go to school. Indeed their parents expected them to get married and have children. That is why, I have chosen an extract from the Freedom Writers Diary which is a non fiction book, published in 1999 and written by the Freedom Writers, a group of Californian students and their teacher Erin Gruwell. In this excerpt, the narrator, who is about to graduate from high school and go to university, relates his family's background. His parents were not illiterate but they had to quit school very early. The narrator's mother went up to the sixth grade because women were not expected to get an education but they were compelled to become good housewives. The narrator's mother was willing to become an accountant but her dream was shattered. Indeed, she did not have the opportunity to fulfil herself, although she had ambition. At that time, women had to stay at home, obey their parents and bring their children up. Marriage was the norm and a financial security for women. The husband supported her wife financially. Women were compelled to become good housewives and mothers and they were not expected to get an education. Now, women have the same rights as men. It includes the right to vote. Women can be housewives but it is not an obligation. That is why, I think that education for women is a progress because it changes the way of the society to consider women.

    On the other hand, progress can be dangerous for humankind. Therefore, I have made up my mind to speak about genetically engineered crops in agriculture. For this year, we have listened to a report: genetically engineered crops in agriculture, a worldwide experiment on people, animals and nature. This report underlines that genetically engineered crops have far-reaching consequences. Indeed, the function of genome is partially unknown and introducing foreign genes is an experiment with unsure outcomes. Moreover, these crops are cultivated outdoors and can contaminate the other cultures which don't use genetic engineering. It is uncontrollable. Crops are also become resistant to some pesticides. Therefore, genetic engineering giants are compelled to create stronger pesticides. These pesticides pollute soils and ground water which are essential for agriculture. Futhermore, we don't know how these crops affect humans and animals. They can perhaps induce some illnesses.

    To conclude, I think that social and scientific progresses can improve our life but they can destroy life, health. The progress is like a weapon. It can improve life but it can also become the worst thing that humankind has created



    Réponse: Bac/Idea of progress de here4u, postée le 05-05-2016 à 23:35:17 (S | E)
    Hello !
    Ce qui est bleu est faux ... il ne sert donc à rien de remettre la même chose ..;

    I am going to talk about the notion of XXX Idea of progress. To illustrate the notion of progress, I would like to speak about school (education) and genetically engineered crops. We can wonder one question (this is NOT English!): How and to what extent can progresses (c'est un indénombrable singulier) improve our life ? To answer this question, I will explain that going to school is a chance, XX opportunity for women and that before they did not have this right. Afterwards, I will explain that progress can become dangerous. But I would like to give a definition of progress. The progress is an improvement, a change which enables people to live better, to make the world a better place. Progresses appear in every domain.

    On the one hand, education for women is a progress because for a long time women could not go to school. Indeed their parents expected them to get married and have children. That is why, I have chosen an extract from the Freedom Writers Diary which is a non fiction book, published in 1999 and written by the Freedom Writers, a group of Californian students and their teacher Erin Gruwell. In this excerpt, the narrator, who is about to graduate from high school and go to university, relates his family's background. His parents were not illiterate but they had to quit school very early. The narrator's mother went up to the sixth grade because women were not expected to get an education but they were compelled to become good housewives. The narrator's mother was willing to become an accountant but her dream was shattered. Indeed, she did not have the opportunity to fulfil herself, although she had ambition (and capacities). At that time, women had to stay at home, obey their parents and bring their children up. Marriage was the norm and a financial security for women. The husband supported her wife financially. Women were compelled to become good housewives and mothers and they were not expected to get an education. Now, women have the same rights as men. It includes the right to vote. Women can be housewives but it is not an obligation. That is why, I think that education for women is a progress because it changes the way of the society to consider women.

    On the other hand, progress can be dangerous for humankind. Therefore, I have made up my mind to speak about genetically engineered crops in agriculture. For this year, we have listened to a report: genetically engineered crops in agriculture, a worldwide experiment on people, animals and nature. This report underlines that genetically engineered crops have far-reaching consequences. Indeed, the function of genome is partially unknown and introducing foreign genes is an experiment with unsure outcomes. Moreover, these crops are cultivated outdoors and can contaminate the other cultures which don't use genetic engineering. It(these crops = plural!) is uncontrollable. Crops are (quel est l'auxiliaire des temps composés ?)also become resistant to some pesticides. Therefore, genetic engineering giants are compelled to create stronger pesticides. These pesticides pollute soils and ground water which are essential for agriculture. Futhermore, we don't know how these crops affect humans and animals. They can perhaps induce some illnesses.

    To conclude, I think that social and scientific progresses can improve our life but they can destroy life, health. The progress is like a weapon. It can improve life but it can also become the worst thing that humankind has created




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