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    Bac/Idea of progress

    Cours gratuits > Forum > Forum anglais: Questions sur l'anglais || En bas

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    Bac/Idea of progress
    Message de lm1999 posté le 03-05-2017 à 12:25:09 (S | E | F)
    Bonjour à tous,
    A l'approche du Bac j'ai rédigé mes synthèses pour l'épreuve orale d'anglais mais je pense avoir fait quelques erreurs : quelqu'un pourrait-il prendre le temps de m'aider pour les corriger et également me relire ?
    Merci beaucoup d'avance !
    ( Je précise que j'ai enlevé la conclusion car il y avait trop de caractères )

    I am going to present the notion of the idea of progress through the Olympic Games, a sporting event which occurs every 4 years and which gets together with people from all around the world.
    First of all I will give you a definition of this notion : the idea of progress design the different advances in technology, science, and social organization that can produce an
    improvement in the human condition. The rythm of progress have accelerated over the last few decades and these technological and scientific developments imply huge changes and evolution in our today’s society.
    In order to illustrate this notion, I will attempt to answer the following question : Do the Olympic Games really contribute to making the world a better place ?
    To find an answer, I am going to present several documents that we studied in class about this theme.
    The first document I have chosen is an article from the NY mag’s website, about a very special olympic team which doesn’t embody any country. Indeed, during the last Games of Rio in 2016, the International Olympic Committee decided to form the first‐ever all‐refugee team : this initiative aimed to offer a home to those who don’t even have a flag or a national anthem, and this team was supposed to be a symbol of hope for all the refugees in our world. Organizations that worked with refugees tried to raise awareness about the magnitude of the crisis because many people werenarrow minded by negative media coverage.
    However the refugee athletes weren’t likely to win many medals because they began to train too late,in shabby facilities but this permitted to show their courage and also their distress. Actually Olympic Games are linked to many values such as respect, fairplay and friendship : the fact that refugees took part to this event bring to light that they share the Olympic spirit and as ambassadors, they gave another face to the refugees question. Although this initiative didn’t change anything about thesituation in home countries, it made progress the point of view of many people, who from now on grant more importance to the debate about refugees, and that’s already a notch that have been moved up.
    Otherwise, we watched a video in class, entitled What Rio doesn’t want the world to see ? : it presents another aspect of the consequences that imply Olympic Games, which goes against the idea of progress. Indeed, this video explained that when you leave the airport of Rio, all you see is a wall,located in the north zone where shanty town goes on for miles. The government claimed the wall has been built to protect ears of the population whereas they don’t even have anything to eat : it was just a pretext to hide poverty because Rio is seen by the world as an amazing city with iconic beaches but tourists change their mind when they assess the reality.
    Moreover, the Olympic Games have been the biggest reason to clean the city in that way. Carlos Carvhalo, a contractor encouraged by the major, wanted to build a new Rio only for the elite and his project was to place the Olympic park in Barrar, a squatter area where lived hundreds of families :they were a barriere to his plans so they have been chased and those who fought to stay had to make housing nicer.
    That’s a relevant example of how the authorities wanted to embellish the reality for the Games while ignoring the poors condition : it showed that the Games aren’t always contributing to make the society progress.
    Finally, we had to debate about the following question : « Do the OG worth the cost ? »
    Indeed, although the Games are a tradition since the first modern edition in 1896, this event is for a lot of people a waste of money because first, that represents a huge economic charge for the host country : for instance in 2008 the total budget of the China for the organisation of the OG was 32 billions euros. Knowing the situation in this country, all this money could be invested for more sustainable infrastructure and social plans because the chinese population remain one of the poorest in the world. However, Olympic Games also play a role to help the world progress : all the sporting infrastructures which have been built upon this event can be reused by the local population who sometimes would never have the occasion to enjoy that kinds of activities. Moreover, the Games highlight the host country and lead to diversity and meetings of different cultures. This event features olympic values such as fairplay or peace but that’s also a way to promote equality, with paralympic Games which occur for more than 50 years.

    -------------------
    Modifié par lucile83 le 03-05-2017 21:16


    Réponse : Bac/Idea of progress de laure95, postée le 03-05-2017 à 18:42:03 (S | E)
    Bonsoir,
    - which gets together with (enlever with)people from all around the world.
    - the idea of progress design (faute de conjugaison)the different advances
    - The rythm of progress have (faute de conjugaison) accelerated over the last few décades
    - and (an) evolution in our today’s society.
    - this initiative aimed to (pas la bonne préposition)offer a (pas de a ou mettre house à la place de home) home to those 4
    - (article)Organizations that worked with
    - this (that pas this) permitted to show their courage
    - refugees took part to (pas la bonne préposition)this event bring (faute de conjugaison)to light
    - the refugees question (issue pas question)
    - Although this (that pas this)initiative didn’t change (present perfect)anything
    - it (has made) progress (in) the point of view of many people, w
    - a notch that have (faute de conjugaison)been moved up.

    - Indeed, this video explained (présent) that
    - where (article)shanty town goes on for miles.
    - to protect (article)ears of the population
    - where lived hundreds of families :inverser l'ordre des mots.
    - barriere
    - the poors (pas de s) condition (pluriel)
    - : it showed: present.
    - to make the society progress.
    - Indeed, although the Games are (present perfect) a tradition since the first modern edition in 1896,
    - for instance in 2008 the total budget of the (pas de the)China
    - sustainable infrastructure (pluriel)
    - the chinese (majuscule)population remain o(faute de conjugaison)
    - to help the world progress
    - that kinds (singulier)of activities
    - paralympic Games which occur (present perfect)for more than 50 years




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